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The Watercooler
When a Parent's "I love you" means "Do as I say"
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<blockquote data-quote="KTMom91" data-source="post: 306395" data-attributes="member: 4040"><p>Interesting article. I wonder though, do they mean actually withholding the love, or just withholding the expressions of love? Like Lisa, I don't want to hug a kid who's made me crazy all day long, but that doesn't mean I love Miss KT any less. At what point does this theory of "I love you when you do what I say" turn into a massive guilt trip for the child, where he/she is made to feel responsible for Mom's happiness?</p><p></p><p>If the child is made to feel that he/she is just wonderful the way he/she is, there is no motivation to change any unacceptable behavior. I'm talking about a easy child here, one who knows the difference but chooses to misbehave, not a difficult child who hasn't gotten the finer points yet. That's a whole other ball game, as we all know!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KTMom91, post: 306395, member: 4040"] Interesting article. I wonder though, do they mean actually withholding the love, or just withholding the expressions of love? Like Lisa, I don't want to hug a kid who's made me crazy all day long, but that doesn't mean I love Miss KT any less. At what point does this theory of "I love you when you do what I say" turn into a massive guilt trip for the child, where he/she is made to feel responsible for Mom's happiness? If the child is made to feel that he/she is just wonderful the way he/she is, there is no motivation to change any unacceptable behavior. I'm talking about a easy child here, one who knows the difference but chooses to misbehave, not a difficult child who hasn't gotten the finer points yet. That's a whole other ball game, as we all know! [/QUOTE]
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When a Parent's "I love you" means "Do as I say"
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