Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
When an improved difficult child starts falling apart, what to do?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 617111" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Had Enough? This is what I have learned through detaching, so far: The kids can either be afraid of, and respect, jail and the court system ~ where they will get to, eventually, unless we step up ~ or they can learn to respect US.</p><p></p><p>We have to step up, Had Enough. </p><p></p><p>I wouldn't press charges or make him leave without fair warning, either. I definitely would tell him the worm has turned, and you will throw him out without batting an eye the next time anything, ANYTHING happens that you don't like. Then, begin making preparations to do just that. </p><p></p><p>Where are the shelters in your area?</p><p></p><p>Are there YMCAs where you could rent a room for him, if you are unable to throw him out with nothing?</p><p></p><p>I think it will help you very much to begin making those kinds of plans, Had Enough. Maybe, the extra certainty you feel from having an alternative to taking his abuse will be enough to change the dynamic between you.</p><p></p><p>You can always decide to let him back in.</p><p></p><p>But this adult child needs to learn a better way of interacting with his mother, and even more, he needs to learn to take the reins of his own life, the way a man is supposed to.</p><p></p><p>We will be right here with you every step of the way, Had Enough.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 617111, member: 17461"] Had Enough? This is what I have learned through detaching, so far: The kids can either be afraid of, and respect, jail and the court system ~ where they will get to, eventually, unless we step up ~ or they can learn to respect US. We have to step up, Had Enough. I wouldn't press charges or make him leave without fair warning, either. I definitely would tell him the worm has turned, and you will throw him out without batting an eye the next time anything, ANYTHING happens that you don't like. Then, begin making preparations to do just that. Where are the shelters in your area? Are there YMCAs where you could rent a room for him, if you are unable to throw him out with nothing? I think it will help you very much to begin making those kinds of plans, Had Enough. Maybe, the extra certainty you feel from having an alternative to taking his abuse will be enough to change the dynamic between you. You can always decide to let him back in. But this adult child needs to learn a better way of interacting with his mother, and even more, he needs to learn to take the reins of his own life, the way a man is supposed to. We will be right here with you every step of the way, Had Enough. Cedar [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
When an improved difficult child starts falling apart, what to do?
Top