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Parent Emeritus
When are we assuming too much?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 621659" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>If we were not strong people, we may not survive our difficult children and, many times, our own horrible childhoods.</p><p></p><p>Also, many of us are students of Twelve Step programs and they worked very well for us so we pass what we learned. If somebody feels it is unhelpful, I would think that, since we are all adults, the person would disregard the advice. Recovering Enabler, Cedar, myself and maybe a few others I missed have some Buddhist leanings and are into "radical acceptance" and "mindfulness." Some of us had good therapists who taught us things that helped us. It makes sense we would try to help others by passing along what we have learned that helped us. Although that does not in any way mean that the same methods will help another, it is our heartfelt attempt to give comfort and strength.</p><p></p><p>It is comforting to me, and I will not speak for anyone else, when 36 was going off the rails and acting insane and dangerous to know that those who were answering my posts know exactly what I was going through because they have gone through it too. It is hard for me to share with people who have not had dangerous, crazy, unstable young adult child that they love but don't like very much. I feel I can let it out here and will continue to do so. Most of us are, sadly, in the same boats. It is a little soothing to at least feel understood, no?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 621659, member: 1550"] If we were not strong people, we may not survive our difficult children and, many times, our own horrible childhoods. Also, many of us are students of Twelve Step programs and they worked very well for us so we pass what we learned. If somebody feels it is unhelpful, I would think that, since we are all adults, the person would disregard the advice. Recovering Enabler, Cedar, myself and maybe a few others I missed have some Buddhist leanings and are into "radical acceptance" and "mindfulness." Some of us had good therapists who taught us things that helped us. It makes sense we would try to help others by passing along what we have learned that helped us. Although that does not in any way mean that the same methods will help another, it is our heartfelt attempt to give comfort and strength. It is comforting to me, and I will not speak for anyone else, when 36 was going off the rails and acting insane and dangerous to know that those who were answering my posts know exactly what I was going through because they have gone through it too. It is hard for me to share with people who have not had dangerous, crazy, unstable young adult child that they love but don't like very much. I feel I can let it out here and will continue to do so. Most of us are, sadly, in the same boats. It is a little soothing to at least feel understood, no? [/QUOTE]
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When are we assuming too much?
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