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When did you know your difficult child was a difficult child?
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 172157" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>My difficult child spent his first 10 1/2 years as a easy child. He very seldom fussed as a baby - in fact, that is how I would know when he had an ear infection - Nurses would say, "But all babies fuss" "Not mine". His older sister was 6 years old when I had him (1st day of her 1st Grade 5:41 am and she was at the hospital in the waiting room). Even though she did very well as a big sister, she really resented having a sibling to share attention with. She started being mean as he got older (name calling, hitting as she went past him ect.) which I think is the main reason of his problems today. I am learning that this behavior happened more than I thought it did (she was always disciplined when I knew about it).</p><p> </p><p>Anyway, difficult child was very easy going - not much fazed him. The only issue we really had was getting him to join his class in front of church for singing which I excused him from. I really don't think kids need to be pushed into that. I found that the reason was that he didn't know the songs. If he knew and liked a song, then he would participate. He would also not join in with group games unless he knew the people and all the rules. Again I thought, fine, not everyone in a joiner and he was happy watching and learning from the side lines.</p><p> </p><p>Last Summer was very boring for him - he started to loose his energy. He then had an unpleasent dental procedure that threw him further into the hole he was in. He had a panic attack a few days later and started having self harm feelings. I took him to his pediatrian who said, "I don't know what this is. I am going to treat the symptoms. I think it is anxiety. Here is Zoloft." I refused to give him Zoloft based on "I don't know, I think" so finally received a referral to a specialist. The referral was received as referring for ADD. I told the doctor, "No, I am not bringing him for ADD - I am bringing him because we don't know." He reveiwed some history and said, "This kid does not have ADD". He then referred us to a psychologist and ordered another series of lab work to rule stuff out.</p><p> </p><p>In the mean time, difficult child was unable to go to school without me and even then could not last the entire day. I called work to say I didn't know what was going on or when I would be able to return and found I had a new supervisor not from our facility so I was stressed, new boss and me not going to work, how is that going to go over?</p><p> </p><p>difficult child lost so much energy - couldn't even go across town on a trip to buy a lego set. This was getting scary for both of us - I had no idea what was going on with him.</p><p> </p><p>Before the psychologist appointment., we had gone to the Mall of America. It had been a very stressful weekend and difficult child fell apart on the 3rd floor begging me to get him out of there. I took him downstairs and outside where he started throwing up. He was terrified. His body was telling him to jump from the 3rd floor balcony and he did not want to. I called the psychiatric's office and begged to get in sooner. Within a week, we were there. On the way out of that first visit, difficult child cried and said he could no longer handle fighting with his thoughts that he needed more help. So, we went down the road to a psychiatric hospital and admitted him. </p><p> </p><p>Then I had to go home and tell husband and all family and friends that difficult child was admitted as an acute admit to a psychiatric hospital. It was so unplanned - no one really knew what was going on with him and I had no idea how people would react. I know it bothered husband though all he asked was, "Did difficult child want this?" "Yes, he was the one who asked for the admission."</p><p> </p><p>So, difficult child pretty much shut down and now as he is climbing out of the hole, he is picking up a vaiety of unwanted behavior (lieing, name calling, disrepecting authority, misdirected anger, ect.) Sometimes his behavior seems so phony as if he is imitating what he may have seen at the psychiatric hospital. </p><p> </p><p>Things are going much better and if any difficult child can turn it around to be a easy child, he has a great chance in doing so. Though some days he does scare me with his behavior and I wounder if he will end up in juvie or jail when he is older? He can go either way and of course we are working as hard as we can to get him to want to find the life that will bring him happiness.</p><p> </p><p>We are also working with a neurologist to watch for partial seizures - right now we are certain he has a migrane varient but now that he is almost off the medication that also controls seizure, we will watch for increase in the auroas and headaches activities. If these symptoms return, we may do a 48 hr EEG to try to catch a partial seizure.</p><p> </p><p>His diagnosis is very deep anxiety.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 172157, member: 5096"] My difficult child spent his first 10 1/2 years as a easy child. He very seldom fussed as a baby - in fact, that is how I would know when he had an ear infection - Nurses would say, "But all babies fuss" "Not mine". His older sister was 6 years old when I had him (1st day of her 1st Grade 5:41 am and she was at the hospital in the waiting room). Even though she did very well as a big sister, she really resented having a sibling to share attention with. She started being mean as he got older (name calling, hitting as she went past him ect.) which I think is the main reason of his problems today. I am learning that this behavior happened more than I thought it did (she was always disciplined when I knew about it). Anyway, difficult child was very easy going - not much fazed him. The only issue we really had was getting him to join his class in front of church for singing which I excused him from. I really don't think kids need to be pushed into that. I found that the reason was that he didn't know the songs. If he knew and liked a song, then he would participate. He would also not join in with group games unless he knew the people and all the rules. Again I thought, fine, not everyone in a joiner and he was happy watching and learning from the side lines. Last Summer was very boring for him - he started to loose his energy. He then had an unpleasent dental procedure that threw him further into the hole he was in. He had a panic attack a few days later and started having self harm feelings. I took him to his pediatrian who said, "I don't know what this is. I am going to treat the symptoms. I think it is anxiety. Here is Zoloft." I refused to give him Zoloft based on "I don't know, I think" so finally received a referral to a specialist. The referral was received as referring for ADD. I told the doctor, "No, I am not bringing him for ADD - I am bringing him because we don't know." He reveiwed some history and said, "This kid does not have ADD". He then referred us to a psychologist and ordered another series of lab work to rule stuff out. In the mean time, difficult child was unable to go to school without me and even then could not last the entire day. I called work to say I didn't know what was going on or when I would be able to return and found I had a new supervisor not from our facility so I was stressed, new boss and me not going to work, how is that going to go over? difficult child lost so much energy - couldn't even go across town on a trip to buy a lego set. This was getting scary for both of us - I had no idea what was going on with him. Before the psychologist appointment., we had gone to the Mall of America. It had been a very stressful weekend and difficult child fell apart on the 3rd floor begging me to get him out of there. I took him downstairs and outside where he started throwing up. He was terrified. His body was telling him to jump from the 3rd floor balcony and he did not want to. I called the psychiatric's office and begged to get in sooner. Within a week, we were there. On the way out of that first visit, difficult child cried and said he could no longer handle fighting with his thoughts that he needed more help. So, we went down the road to a psychiatric hospital and admitted him. Then I had to go home and tell husband and all family and friends that difficult child was admitted as an acute admit to a psychiatric hospital. It was so unplanned - no one really knew what was going on with him and I had no idea how people would react. I know it bothered husband though all he asked was, "Did difficult child want this?" "Yes, he was the one who asked for the admission." So, difficult child pretty much shut down and now as he is climbing out of the hole, he is picking up a vaiety of unwanted behavior (lieing, name calling, disrepecting authority, misdirected anger, ect.) Sometimes his behavior seems so phony as if he is imitating what he may have seen at the psychiatric hospital. Things are going much better and if any difficult child can turn it around to be a easy child, he has a great chance in doing so. Though some days he does scare me with his behavior and I wounder if he will end up in juvie or jail when he is older? He can go either way and of course we are working as hard as we can to get him to want to find the life that will bring him happiness. We are also working with a neurologist to watch for partial seizures - right now we are certain he has a migrane varient but now that he is almost off the medication that also controls seizure, we will watch for increase in the auroas and headaches activities. If these symptoms return, we may do a 48 hr EEG to try to catch a partial seizure. His diagnosis is very deep anxiety. [/QUOTE]
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