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General Parenting
When did you know your difficult child was a difficult child?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 172246" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>At about age 20-24 months I started seeing a "black cloud" come over Wizard. He would become so defiant, upset, mean and so much more - ALL contrary to his general personality. You could almost see it come, and then pass. It took several years for husband to see it, and more for any professional to see it. We had LOTS of counselling, with very little results. NO parenting change made much difference. By the time Jessie could move around (crawl) he started destroying her things, then trying to hurt her. He had been a very devoted brother before that. We have searched and searched our memories to find what caused the change, and have not found anything. By devoted I mean he would stop into the baby room at daycare to say Hi to her every time they went to the potty, outside, to get drinks, etc... If they went past her room he would go say Hi, then he stopped, and did things like cut a hole in her bed rail when she was 1 year. She was in a toddler bed on the floor because she could flip herself out of the crib (heart-stopper for mommy!) by 9 months. He cut the hole in the mesh bed rail so she would "hang herself and die". It was a pretty severe change in his behavior, but we still don't know why.</p><p> </p><p>We knew early on that thank you has issues, reflux, allergies, food allergies, and sensory issues. I would say by 4 months or so I knew about all but the food allergies. He couldn't sleep alone, no matter WHAT we tried until he was 9 months or so. Then he couldn't stand to be touched while he slept. Some textures drove him nuts, while he couldn't get enough of others. I wouldn't have seen any of it except for all the learning I did for Wizard's problems.</p><p> </p><p>Jessie has PTSD because Wizard. It didn't show up for a number of years, except for coming into our bed every night. And then, when Wizard got even more abusive, she moved back into our room. We let her, because then we and she knew she was safe at night. Sad that it was such a huge concern, but it was. Now, she is a happy little social butterfly most of the time - though we ARE looking for another therapist for her.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 172246, member: 1233"] At about age 20-24 months I started seeing a "black cloud" come over Wizard. He would become so defiant, upset, mean and so much more - ALL contrary to his general personality. You could almost see it come, and then pass. It took several years for husband to see it, and more for any professional to see it. We had LOTS of counselling, with very little results. NO parenting change made much difference. By the time Jessie could move around (crawl) he started destroying her things, then trying to hurt her. He had been a very devoted brother before that. We have searched and searched our memories to find what caused the change, and have not found anything. By devoted I mean he would stop into the baby room at daycare to say Hi to her every time they went to the potty, outside, to get drinks, etc... If they went past her room he would go say Hi, then he stopped, and did things like cut a hole in her bed rail when she was 1 year. She was in a toddler bed on the floor because she could flip herself out of the crib (heart-stopper for mommy!) by 9 months. He cut the hole in the mesh bed rail so she would "hang herself and die". It was a pretty severe change in his behavior, but we still don't know why. We knew early on that thank you has issues, reflux, allergies, food allergies, and sensory issues. I would say by 4 months or so I knew about all but the food allergies. He couldn't sleep alone, no matter WHAT we tried until he was 9 months or so. Then he couldn't stand to be touched while he slept. Some textures drove him nuts, while he couldn't get enough of others. I wouldn't have seen any of it except for all the learning I did for Wizard's problems. Jessie has PTSD because Wizard. It didn't show up for a number of years, except for coming into our bed every night. And then, when Wizard got even more abusive, she moved back into our room. We let her, because then we and she knew she was safe at night. Sad that it was such a huge concern, but it was. Now, she is a happy little social butterfly most of the time - though we ARE looking for another therapist for her. [/QUOTE]
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