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When do you decide its time to move on dr. wise?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 372938" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>First of all, do you have a Parent Report for difficult child? If not, do one, the link in my sig is to the thread with the outline. I think you have a CRUCIAL miscommunication problem going on. The docs are not seeing that the primary problem that you see/cope with (from what I am hearing) is the depression and anxiety. While ALL teens experience this to some degree, if it is interfering with normal activities then it is a problem. Period. Having a current Parent Report can help the doctor see this. </p><p> </p><p>You also MUST start a diary of her daily mood, rages, gfgish stuff, etc... Include how she feels physically if she feels sick often or has headaches, etc.... It doesn't have to be terribly formal, but record how she seemed to feel, when she took her medications, and how she acted. At the next appointment take this and use it to show that the depression and anxiety are keeping her from normal activities. Bring a list of depression medications and anxiety medications. Also research depression and anxiety to find various symptoms that she has that "experts" say should be taken to the doctor for medication (google for articles like "symptoms of depression in teens" "when to treat teen depression" etc... </p><p> </p><p>Use these to get the doctor to change medications. If doctor will not, do not leave. Sit there when the doctor says it is time to leave and say, I would but my child is not getting better. I have shown you how depression and anxiety are destroying her life and we NEED medication to work with the therapy she is already working at. I will be happy to wait while you figure out what you feel would be best to change her to, but we will not be able to leave until we get some help. </p><p> </p><p>If it comes to that find another doctor as soon as you leave. Don't stop seeing this doctor until you see the new one, of course. </p><p> </p><p>Many many many many teens are treated for depression and anxiety each day. Telling you that there are not medications for that is totally nuts. Next time a doctor tells you that, laugh. Ask them if there are NO medications to treat depression and anxiety then why are SSRI medications to treat depression some of the most prescribed and most profitable drugs of medical history? Treat it like they were joking.</p><p> </p><p>If they still refuse to treat her, complain to the administrator of the practice or the top doctor of the practice. </p><p> </p><p>As for therapy where she plays candyland, you know how to handle that. It is stupid and ridiculous to take her to therapy where she plays a game designed for 4 yo's. She is gaining nothing and you are paying handsomely for the privilege. You can play candyland at home - the game costs less than $10 - if you REALLY feel it is necessary for her therapy. Find a therapist who will see her one on one. It may even help to give her a couple of months off of therapy if the only available options are this candyland group therapy. Have her meditate at home. Maybe look for some books on anxiety for teens and/or adults. I know there is at least one anxiety book/workbook for adults. Offer to work through it with her for an hour a week at home. Find a book you can agree on and use that hour (plus driving time if you want) to do the exercises together and figure out what to read for the next week. It can hardly do worse than what she is currently doing with the group, can it? It will also save you time, money, and stress, may strengthen your bond with her and might help you with any anxiety issues also. Letting our kids see that we have to work on these things too is not always a bad idea. And if that bombs you problem are not much worse off than you were before, and you can look for another therapist.</p><p> </p><p>Does your employer have an employee assistance program (EAP)? These are not always widely advertised, but a call to HR or looking over your employee benefits handbook might help you find out. And EAP will usually help you find therapists in your area and pay for the first 2 or 3 appts with the therapist. This goes for EACH PROBLEM, not just once. Here is how it usually works: You call a toll free number and are connected to an intake person. Tell the intake person the problem and they will help you find a professional in your area. You make the appointment and call the EAP with the appointment date. The EAP contacts the therapist and arranges payment for up to 3 sessions. You see the therapist. If you cannot work with that therapist you tell the EAP and they help find someone else and you go through the process again. Any sessions after the initial ones are your responsibility to pay for. When another problem occurs you call the EAP and start the process again.</p><p> </p><p>Many employers find that this is far less expensive than all the lost work days from stress and problems that occurred with-o the program. Employees are also happier/less upset at work so they are more productive. Check with HR to see if you have an EAP program, it can really help and works even if you have insurance. The first appts are not usually billed to your insurance and the EAP pays 100%. There are a few programs that just pay the copay, but they are not as common and you usually are not bothered with any paperwork.</p><p> </p><p>I hope some of this helps.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 372938, member: 1233"] First of all, do you have a Parent Report for difficult child? If not, do one, the link in my sig is to the thread with the outline. I think you have a CRUCIAL miscommunication problem going on. The docs are not seeing that the primary problem that you see/cope with (from what I am hearing) is the depression and anxiety. While ALL teens experience this to some degree, if it is interfering with normal activities then it is a problem. Period. Having a current Parent Report can help the doctor see this. You also MUST start a diary of her daily mood, rages, gfgish stuff, etc... Include how she feels physically if she feels sick often or has headaches, etc.... It doesn't have to be terribly formal, but record how she seemed to feel, when she took her medications, and how she acted. At the next appointment take this and use it to show that the depression and anxiety are keeping her from normal activities. Bring a list of depression medications and anxiety medications. Also research depression and anxiety to find various symptoms that she has that "experts" say should be taken to the doctor for medication (google for articles like "symptoms of depression in teens" "when to treat teen depression" etc... Use these to get the doctor to change medications. If doctor will not, do not leave. Sit there when the doctor says it is time to leave and say, I would but my child is not getting better. I have shown you how depression and anxiety are destroying her life and we NEED medication to work with the therapy she is already working at. I will be happy to wait while you figure out what you feel would be best to change her to, but we will not be able to leave until we get some help. If it comes to that find another doctor as soon as you leave. Don't stop seeing this doctor until you see the new one, of course. Many many many many teens are treated for depression and anxiety each day. Telling you that there are not medications for that is totally nuts. Next time a doctor tells you that, laugh. Ask them if there are NO medications to treat depression and anxiety then why are SSRI medications to treat depression some of the most prescribed and most profitable drugs of medical history? Treat it like they were joking. If they still refuse to treat her, complain to the administrator of the practice or the top doctor of the practice. As for therapy where she plays candyland, you know how to handle that. It is stupid and ridiculous to take her to therapy where she plays a game designed for 4 yo's. She is gaining nothing and you are paying handsomely for the privilege. You can play candyland at home - the game costs less than $10 - if you REALLY feel it is necessary for her therapy. Find a therapist who will see her one on one. It may even help to give her a couple of months off of therapy if the only available options are this candyland group therapy. Have her meditate at home. Maybe look for some books on anxiety for teens and/or adults. I know there is at least one anxiety book/workbook for adults. Offer to work through it with her for an hour a week at home. Find a book you can agree on and use that hour (plus driving time if you want) to do the exercises together and figure out what to read for the next week. It can hardly do worse than what she is currently doing with the group, can it? It will also save you time, money, and stress, may strengthen your bond with her and might help you with any anxiety issues also. Letting our kids see that we have to work on these things too is not always a bad idea. And if that bombs you problem are not much worse off than you were before, and you can look for another therapist. Does your employer have an employee assistance program (EAP)? These are not always widely advertised, but a call to HR or looking over your employee benefits handbook might help you find out. And EAP will usually help you find therapists in your area and pay for the first 2 or 3 appts with the therapist. This goes for EACH PROBLEM, not just once. Here is how it usually works: You call a toll free number and are connected to an intake person. Tell the intake person the problem and they will help you find a professional in your area. You make the appointment and call the EAP with the appointment date. The EAP contacts the therapist and arranges payment for up to 3 sessions. You see the therapist. If you cannot work with that therapist you tell the EAP and they help find someone else and you go through the process again. Any sessions after the initial ones are your responsibility to pay for. When another problem occurs you call the EAP and start the process again. Many employers find that this is far less expensive than all the lost work days from stress and problems that occurred with-o the program. Employees are also happier/less upset at work so they are more productive. Check with HR to see if you have an EAP program, it can really help and works even if you have insurance. The first appts are not usually billed to your insurance and the EAP pays 100%. There are a few programs that just pay the copay, but they are not as common and you usually are not bothered with any paperwork. I hope some of this helps. [/QUOTE]
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