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When Grandparents get Angry with difficult child Autism Behaviors
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<blockquote data-quote="Farmwife" data-source="post: 368546" data-attributes="member: 8617"><p>I'm sorry you had so much negativity to come home to. Kind of makes a quick trip less fun.</p><p> </p><p>Skin cancer is highly treatable with great success rates. I know it doesn't ease worries but I wanted you to have something positive on that front. I wish you the best with your treatment.</p><p> </p><p>I bet you are pretty worn out from just the stress over your test and time spent studying. I hope you did well and can relax a little now that it's over.</p><p> </p><p>The only real support with difficult child is my husband. Hubby is a trooper but we are pretty much an island, you know? We get passing interest from family or difficult child's care providers but no one really can grasp the magnitude of how hard it is to raise him. Of course difficult child is a classic charmer away from us so we just look crazy anyhow. This forum has truly been a blessing. Sometimes just sharing struggles, getting empathy or good advice makes a world of difference. I can come here lost and dazed, ready to rant about difficult child and then I relax. Usually another parent is posting almost exactly what I was going to say so it almost seems funny or sadly someone posts about a bigger problem and I feel thankful for what "little" drama I had.</p><p> </p><p>Family, whoo weee that is a tough one. We have occasional overnights for difficult child but only because he is older now and handles his own stuff and because he has improved on his behavior. There was a time not so long ago that he was pretty much not especially welcome. Not unwelcome as much as not too encouraged to come around. This is with our only family near by, my husband's folks who are steps to difficult child. They of course dote over my baby who is bio related so I did feel a bit offended about that. In the end they are super nice to difficult child and any negativity he gets is pretty much his own doing anyhow. My mother in law, his step Grandma cried when she heard he may have to move away due to outbursts so I know he is loved.</p><p> </p><p>My mother is a problem though. She is the opposite of your dad. She is too nice. That usually includes tons of spoiling him like royalty. It usually takes him 3 months to readjust after she comes for a visit from out of state. If we take a couple nights away there is heck to pay for it. His sense of entitlement gets out of control so her "help" with teen sitting is hardly worth it.</p><p> </p><p>I too have a difficult relationship with My Mom. I love her but her influence is not healthy. Our interactions are not functional in a mature adult fashion. She has major control issues and does a lot of very juvenile attention seeking. This has caused me a lot of issues when I deal with her. I did some reading and realized she and I have a toxic relationship. I just come away from interaction with her feeling drained and upset, it really is no good for me. When she doesn't get her way she also leaves some negative impact on my difficult child. So, although it is different from your relationship with your Dad I can sort of relate to parent/child relationships that aren't healthy, how they trickle down to the grandkids sometimes and how we all really deserve to be surrounded by people who treat us in a sane and respectful manner.</p><p> </p><p>Just food for thought...I'm just going on what little bit you posted and can be waaay off base.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Farmwife, post: 368546, member: 8617"] I'm sorry you had so much negativity to come home to. Kind of makes a quick trip less fun. Skin cancer is highly treatable with great success rates. I know it doesn't ease worries but I wanted you to have something positive on that front. I wish you the best with your treatment. I bet you are pretty worn out from just the stress over your test and time spent studying. I hope you did well and can relax a little now that it's over. The only real support with difficult child is my husband. Hubby is a trooper but we are pretty much an island, you know? We get passing interest from family or difficult child's care providers but no one really can grasp the magnitude of how hard it is to raise him. Of course difficult child is a classic charmer away from us so we just look crazy anyhow. This forum has truly been a blessing. Sometimes just sharing struggles, getting empathy or good advice makes a world of difference. I can come here lost and dazed, ready to rant about difficult child and then I relax. Usually another parent is posting almost exactly what I was going to say so it almost seems funny or sadly someone posts about a bigger problem and I feel thankful for what "little" drama I had. Family, whoo weee that is a tough one. We have occasional overnights for difficult child but only because he is older now and handles his own stuff and because he has improved on his behavior. There was a time not so long ago that he was pretty much not especially welcome. Not unwelcome as much as not too encouraged to come around. This is with our only family near by, my husband's folks who are steps to difficult child. They of course dote over my baby who is bio related so I did feel a bit offended about that. In the end they are super nice to difficult child and any negativity he gets is pretty much his own doing anyhow. My mother in law, his step Grandma cried when she heard he may have to move away due to outbursts so I know he is loved. My mother is a problem though. She is the opposite of your dad. She is too nice. That usually includes tons of spoiling him like royalty. It usually takes him 3 months to readjust after she comes for a visit from out of state. If we take a couple nights away there is heck to pay for it. His sense of entitlement gets out of control so her "help" with teen sitting is hardly worth it. I too have a difficult relationship with My Mom. I love her but her influence is not healthy. Our interactions are not functional in a mature adult fashion. She has major control issues and does a lot of very juvenile attention seeking. This has caused me a lot of issues when I deal with her. I did some reading and realized she and I have a toxic relationship. I just come away from interaction with her feeling drained and upset, it really is no good for me. When she doesn't get her way she also leaves some negative impact on my difficult child. So, although it is different from your relationship with your Dad I can sort of relate to parent/child relationships that aren't healthy, how they trickle down to the grandkids sometimes and how we all really deserve to be surrounded by people who treat us in a sane and respectful manner. Just food for thought...I'm just going on what little bit you posted and can be waaay off base. [/QUOTE]
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