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When Grandparents get Angry with difficult child Autism Behaviors
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<blockquote data-quote="WearyWoman" data-source="post: 368548"><p>Wiped Out - Thanks for posting. I don't like to complain or feel sorry for myself, but if I get real honest, I do feel bad sometimes. I'm still recovering from the exam, as I didn't sleep well the night before. That's probably not helping with my mood right now.</p><p> </p><p>Update: My dad called to smooth things over (he knows my mom told me about his anger eruption), saying that he's proud of difficult child, that he only had one problem following directions (not true, according to my mom), that he enjoyed having him over, etc., etc. He's probably feeling at least somewhat guilty about his behavior. He didn't acknowledge anything about this or apologize, though. He never does. Then, he stated that he's glad we were able to "get away" for a while. Yes, I thoroughly enjoyed stressing about this exam, studying steady the whole day we drove down there and not sleeping most of the night, taking the exam and heading back as fast as possible before all hell broke loose. I'm glad he called, but I still feel bad, and I doubt I'll feel comfortable asking them to watch difficult child for even a day in the future. They guilt us about why we don't come to visit . . . I can't imagine why. We pack everybody up and drive all the way there only to have my dad's fuse blow within 15 minutes of arriving.</p><p> </p><p>Farmwife - It sounds like you can relate, and I appreciate your post a lot. You're right that others couldn't imagine the challenges of raising a child with behavioral issues. It is isolating. That's one of the reasons I love this place. It is truly a "place for us". You're also right about the toxicity of dysfunctional relationships. Somehow, we need to distance ourselves emotionally from the damage. I wish I could take things less personally. I'm a sensitive person by nature, and I know I take on too much of what others are dishing out around me. It's made me a people-pleasing, perfectionistic wreck. How do you handle things with your mom, since it's distressing you to interact with her? It is hard to distance from family members - moreso than other acquaintances. The hard part for me right now is that I literally have no friends or social life/activities. This equals no support. We don't have people over to our home or go to visit others' often, for obvious reasons. It's just too hard most of the time because we're consumed with dealing with behavior issues ALL the time. There's no relief. What does everyone do to stay sane? I'm just spread so thin, I am completely exhausted and depressed.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WearyWoman, post: 368548"] Wiped Out - Thanks for posting. I don't like to complain or feel sorry for myself, but if I get real honest, I do feel bad sometimes. I'm still recovering from the exam, as I didn't sleep well the night before. That's probably not helping with my mood right now. Update: My dad called to smooth things over (he knows my mom told me about his anger eruption), saying that he's proud of difficult child, that he only had one problem following directions (not true, according to my mom), that he enjoyed having him over, etc., etc. He's probably feeling at least somewhat guilty about his behavior. He didn't acknowledge anything about this or apologize, though. He never does. Then, he stated that he's glad we were able to "get away" for a while. Yes, I thoroughly enjoyed stressing about this exam, studying steady the whole day we drove down there and not sleeping most of the night, taking the exam and heading back as fast as possible before all hell broke loose. I'm glad he called, but I still feel bad, and I doubt I'll feel comfortable asking them to watch difficult child for even a day in the future. They guilt us about why we don't come to visit . . . I can't imagine why. We pack everybody up and drive all the way there only to have my dad's fuse blow within 15 minutes of arriving. Farmwife - It sounds like you can relate, and I appreciate your post a lot. You're right that others couldn't imagine the challenges of raising a child with behavioral issues. It is isolating. That's one of the reasons I love this place. It is truly a "place for us". You're also right about the toxicity of dysfunctional relationships. Somehow, we need to distance ourselves emotionally from the damage. I wish I could take things less personally. I'm a sensitive person by nature, and I know I take on too much of what others are dishing out around me. It's made me a people-pleasing, perfectionistic wreck. How do you handle things with your mom, since it's distressing you to interact with her? It is hard to distance from family members - moreso than other acquaintances. The hard part for me right now is that I literally have no friends or social life/activities. This equals no support. We don't have people over to our home or go to visit others' often, for obvious reasons. It's just too hard most of the time because we're consumed with dealing with behavior issues ALL the time. There's no relief. What does everyone do to stay sane? I'm just spread so thin, I am completely exhausted and depressed. [/QUOTE]
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