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When Grandparents get Angry with difficult child Autism Behaviors
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<blockquote data-quote="WearyWoman" data-source="post: 369307"><p>Terry - It's a good idea to find an overnight sitter - that would be a tremendous help. This is a wake-up call, for sure, that we need to think about finding someone. Yes, my mom has dealt with this for so long, she probably has lost touch with how dysfunctional the situation really is. But the same is true of my sister. They just excuse his angry outbursts, like they're no big deal, and move on with the day. I don't do well with angry people, and I can't seem to move on so easily. The hurt is just too deep. </p><p> </p><p>Farmwife - Thanks so much for taking the time to post again. You have helped me see more clearly the situation in a realistic way. If I just allow myself to acknowledge my true feelings, without censorship, the truth emerges. I know my dad's behavior is very unhealthy for me. It causes me considerable distress, and sadly, he doesn't know or necessarily care. No one has really held him accountable over the years, and I suspect that he is somehow getting something out of this angry behavior - some type of payoff (at everyone else's expense around him, of course). I feel like I'm in the twilight zone, though, since everyone else in my family views his behavior as benign, when I perceive it as toxic. Since my dad retired, I seldom get to spend time with my mom one-on-one. As I mentioned, she doesn't drive, and she has scoliosis, so she's not that mobile either. My dad is with her all the time. I miss our mother-daughter talks. When I call to talk with her on the phone, my dad often picks up on the other line (without announcing he's there) and listens to our conversations. I think that's terribly strange, and it makes me uncomfortable, but again, my mom doesn't make anything of it. What planet am I on anyway?!!! I know it's not a good idea to cut my dad out of my life completely, but I think I can finally give myself permission to spend less time around him, especially with the kids.</p><p> </p><p>I'm doing alright coping with the skin cancer. We're making arrangements for my mother-in-law to come and stay for the day at our house with difficult child. I think that will go alright. The last thing I need right now is more worry and stress. I probably will seek out some support in the online cancer forums.</p><p> </p><p>Again, thanks for posting your support. It is appreciated so much.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WearyWoman, post: 369307"] Terry - It's a good idea to find an overnight sitter - that would be a tremendous help. This is a wake-up call, for sure, that we need to think about finding someone. Yes, my mom has dealt with this for so long, she probably has lost touch with how dysfunctional the situation really is. But the same is true of my sister. They just excuse his angry outbursts, like they're no big deal, and move on with the day. I don't do well with angry people, and I can't seem to move on so easily. The hurt is just too deep. Farmwife - Thanks so much for taking the time to post again. You have helped me see more clearly the situation in a realistic way. If I just allow myself to acknowledge my true feelings, without censorship, the truth emerges. I know my dad's behavior is very unhealthy for me. It causes me considerable distress, and sadly, he doesn't know or necessarily care. No one has really held him accountable over the years, and I suspect that he is somehow getting something out of this angry behavior - some type of payoff (at everyone else's expense around him, of course). I feel like I'm in the twilight zone, though, since everyone else in my family views his behavior as benign, when I perceive it as toxic. Since my dad retired, I seldom get to spend time with my mom one-on-one. As I mentioned, she doesn't drive, and she has scoliosis, so she's not that mobile either. My dad is with her all the time. I miss our mother-daughter talks. When I call to talk with her on the phone, my dad often picks up on the other line (without announcing he's there) and listens to our conversations. I think that's terribly strange, and it makes me uncomfortable, but again, my mom doesn't make anything of it. What planet am I on anyway?!!! I know it's not a good idea to cut my dad out of my life completely, but I think I can finally give myself permission to spend less time around him, especially with the kids. I'm doing alright coping with the skin cancer. We're making arrangements for my mother-in-law to come and stay for the day at our house with difficult child. I think that will go alright. The last thing I need right now is more worry and stress. I probably will seek out some support in the online cancer forums. Again, thanks for posting your support. It is appreciated so much. [/QUOTE]
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