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Parent Emeritus
When is total detachment the right thing to do?
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<blockquote data-quote="dstc_99" data-source="post: 617834" data-attributes="member: 15473"><p>If you think paying his way will help him finish things then let me tell you my story. </p><p></p><p>My daughter moved out a little over a year ago to live with her grands because she did not want to be responsible for her actions. No drugs only one or two drinking incidences and LOTS of attitude issues. husband and I agreed to continue paying her car payment, car insurance, and cell phone as well as giving my parents 400 a month to offset their costs. She had to agree to attend family therapy. MWM and several others recommended cutting her off and I just couldn't do it. I should have. </p><p></p><p>Today she has dropped out of college which we paid for and has moved in with her boyfriend. Our only contact is based around the 140 we have agreed to give her a month. She is driving our car on our insurance and using our cell phone plan. She attended one maybe two therapy sessions and then never went again. On multiple occasions we have been verbally abused via phone or in person. She shows no remorse and generally doesn't initiate contact unless she wants something. </p><p></p><p>In most cases this is no different than the little amount of contact people have with the children they have cut off. The only major difference is that husband and I are going in debt and struggling to pay bills. She on the other hand has finally gotten a job and drained her savings account. Life is good for her and I have 300 to live on for the next two weeks.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Sent from my iPhone using ConductDisorders</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dstc_99, post: 617834, member: 15473"] If you think paying his way will help him finish things then let me tell you my story. My daughter moved out a little over a year ago to live with her grands because she did not want to be responsible for her actions. No drugs only one or two drinking incidences and LOTS of attitude issues. husband and I agreed to continue paying her car payment, car insurance, and cell phone as well as giving my parents 400 a month to offset their costs. She had to agree to attend family therapy. MWM and several others recommended cutting her off and I just couldn't do it. I should have. Today she has dropped out of college which we paid for and has moved in with her boyfriend. Our only contact is based around the 140 we have agreed to give her a month. She is driving our car on our insurance and using our cell phone plan. She attended one maybe two therapy sessions and then never went again. On multiple occasions we have been verbally abused via phone or in person. She shows no remorse and generally doesn't initiate contact unless she wants something. In most cases this is no different than the little amount of contact people have with the children they have cut off. The only major difference is that husband and I are going in debt and struggling to pay bills. She on the other hand has finally gotten a job and drained her savings account. Life is good for her and I have 300 to live on for the next two weeks. Sent from my iPhone using ConductDisorders [/QUOTE]
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When is total detachment the right thing to do?
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