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Parent Emeritus
When is total detachment the right thing to do?
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 618032" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>It is helpful to hear the manipulation in the phrases used. We can hear it because we will feel guilty, will feel like what happened with the child is justified by our bad parenting unless we do what they want.</p><p></p><p>Hearing the manipulation means just that. You don't need to do anything right this instant. It is helpful though, to hear it for what it is.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry this all has to be so hard. Never forget that it is such a hard thing, to do what we have to do, to see and acknowledge and live in the worlds our difficult child kids have brought us into. For that reason, we really do need to cherish and befriend ourselves. We are under a strange kind of attack. It's going to take everything we know or can learn, to survive it, to accept it.</p><p></p><p>It heartbreaking, really.</p><p></p><p>And we are so isolated. Traumatized, and isolated. A very hard thing.</p><p></p><p>This board is a blessing, a good thing, a place we can heal and learn and learn how to cope. I am so glad we all are here.</p><p></p><p>So, that's a good thing. And we have to learn to be so grateful for every good, strengthening thing.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 618032, member: 17461"] It is helpful to hear the manipulation in the phrases used. We can hear it because we will feel guilty, will feel like what happened with the child is justified by our bad parenting unless we do what they want. Hearing the manipulation means just that. You don't need to do anything right this instant. It is helpful though, to hear it for what it is. I'm sorry this all has to be so hard. Never forget that it is such a hard thing, to do what we have to do, to see and acknowledge and live in the worlds our difficult child kids have brought us into. For that reason, we really do need to cherish and befriend ourselves. We are under a strange kind of attack. It's going to take everything we know or can learn, to survive it, to accept it. It heartbreaking, really. And we are so isolated. Traumatized, and isolated. A very hard thing. This board is a blessing, a good thing, a place we can heal and learn and learn how to cope. I am so glad we all are here. So, that's a good thing. And we have to learn to be so grateful for every good, strengthening thing. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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When is total detachment the right thing to do?
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