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Parent Emeritus
When is total detachment the right thing to do?
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<blockquote data-quote="BackintheSaddle" data-source="post: 618091" data-attributes="member: 17503"><p>I'm so grateful I found this site....my friends are sweet and worried but just don't understand how I could be in a situation where I'm scared of my son, don't even want to talk to him or see him...they just don't get it and clearly all of you do and have been there for years like I have (started in 2nd grade and he's 19 years-- 12 years, 2 hospitalizations, endless appointments looking for answers, so much stress and worry, attempts at medications that were always a fight)...distance is helping me to embrace the freedom of all that drama!...I miss my son but I realize that I miss the boy he used to be, I don't miss that bully who's been living with us...I decided to start a 'grateful journal' this year and write something every day I was grateful for and my best journal to start was one I had written about 5 pages 2 years ago of life with Jacob...and lo and behold, it was exactly the same drill as what we just got out of....temper tantrums, screaming at me blaming me for flunking his classes and his anxiety, then he blamed his girlfriend for his bad grades because she broke up with him right before exams (they got back together and are still there!)-- this was right around the time he first got his license, backed into a car and drove off so got charged with hit and run and lost his license for 6 months--- we go through so much hell with these difficult children, don't we? and yet we get accused of not loving them?...</p><p> </p><p>so today, my best moment is that I'm in NC and we got about 1" of snow last night...our 3 horses were in the stalls overnight and I let them out into the big pasture (something that's a treat for them) and they ran around, kicking, bucking, and playing like they'd never seen snow before (it has been a while!)...it was such a beautiful sight, I'm really blessed in so many ways...even if my difficult child isn't talking to me!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BackintheSaddle, post: 618091, member: 17503"] I'm so grateful I found this site....my friends are sweet and worried but just don't understand how I could be in a situation where I'm scared of my son, don't even want to talk to him or see him...they just don't get it and clearly all of you do and have been there for years like I have (started in 2nd grade and he's 19 years-- 12 years, 2 hospitalizations, endless appointments looking for answers, so much stress and worry, attempts at medications that were always a fight)...distance is helping me to embrace the freedom of all that drama!...I miss my son but I realize that I miss the boy he used to be, I don't miss that bully who's been living with us...I decided to start a 'grateful journal' this year and write something every day I was grateful for and my best journal to start was one I had written about 5 pages 2 years ago of life with Jacob...and lo and behold, it was exactly the same drill as what we just got out of....temper tantrums, screaming at me blaming me for flunking his classes and his anxiety, then he blamed his girlfriend for his bad grades because she broke up with him right before exams (they got back together and are still there!)-- this was right around the time he first got his license, backed into a car and drove off so got charged with hit and run and lost his license for 6 months--- we go through so much hell with these difficult children, don't we? and yet we get accused of not loving them?... so today, my best moment is that I'm in NC and we got about 1" of snow last night...our 3 horses were in the stalls overnight and I let them out into the big pasture (something that's a treat for them) and they ran around, kicking, bucking, and playing like they'd never seen snow before (it has been a while!)...it was such a beautiful sight, I'm really blessed in so many ways...even if my difficult child isn't talking to me! [/QUOTE]
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When is total detachment the right thing to do?
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