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Parent Emeritus
When is total detachment the right thing to do?
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 618126" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>RE I so like everything you said. And it is such a process to break that sick dance of them expecting us to solve all of their problems for them. There is a loud sucking sound that happens when we make that break, like a suction cup being pulled away from a smooth surface. </p><p></p><p>When they were children, this was our job. We soothed it all. </p><p></p><p>Some of us kept on way way too long, telling ourselves all kinds of reasons why it was necessary. And years went by and we were sucked in more and more. </p><p></p><p>And then finally, we learned something different. We became so so so tired and weary of it all. Nothing ever changed no matter how much we listened, how much money we threw at the problem, how much time we spent running around like a crazy person trying to "help." In fact things got worse. </p><p></p><p>And we woke up. We started changing slowly slowly making lots of mistakes but also progress. </p><p></p><p>And we started getting our lives back. It felt good most of the time so we wanted more of that good feeling. </p><p></p><p>And we are learning a new way of behaving and who and what we are responsible for. Ourselves. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there. Keep walking forward.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Sent from my iPhone using ConductDisorders</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 618126, member: 17542"] RE I so like everything you said. And it is such a process to break that sick dance of them expecting us to solve all of their problems for them. There is a loud sucking sound that happens when we make that break, like a suction cup being pulled away from a smooth surface. When they were children, this was our job. We soothed it all. Some of us kept on way way too long, telling ourselves all kinds of reasons why it was necessary. And years went by and we were sucked in more and more. And then finally, we learned something different. We became so so so tired and weary of it all. Nothing ever changed no matter how much we listened, how much money we threw at the problem, how much time we spent running around like a crazy person trying to "help." In fact things got worse. And we woke up. We started changing slowly slowly making lots of mistakes but also progress. And we started getting our lives back. It felt good most of the time so we wanted more of that good feeling. And we are learning a new way of behaving and who and what we are responsible for. Ourselves. Hang in there. Keep walking forward. Sent from my iPhone using ConductDisorders [/QUOTE]
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When is total detachment the right thing to do?
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