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When is total detachment the right thing to do?
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 618214" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>It's the disease. The lies, the using, the manipulation, the denial, the story of how awesome drugs are, the drama, all of the bare ugliness and self-destruction. It's part of the monster disease. I see this 40-foot-tall monster who has ahold of my precious son. That monster has him completely sewed up right now. And the bad thing is: my son is embracing this monster. He loves the monster. He has accepted and become the monster, for right now.</p><p></p><p>Underneath, inside is my precious son. He is STILL there. Somewhere. But he will stay submerged until HE decides he doesn't love the monster anymore. One day, he will rear his head back, he will look that monster in the face, and he will start the long, long journey of rejection. Maybe. </p><p></p><p>The monster plus my son together are too powerful for me to fight. For us to fight. We have done it all, and nearly killed ourselves in the process.</p><p></p><p>Our job now is to walk in the other direction for a while. Work at the art gallery. Walk beside the ocean. Take a nap. Take a trip. Have a massage. Get to work. Do the laundry. Scrub the floor. Live our lives. </p><p></p><p>Let it go for now. Feel our own feelings when we need to---the deep fear we still have, the despair, the anger, the helplessness. Feel it for 5 minutes a day or 10 minutes or an hour or for the afternoon---whatever we still need. </p><p></p><p>Then, get up and walk in the other direction, and claim our own lives and all of the wonderful things in this world that are still available to us. </p><p></p><p>Take that painting class Cedar! Sign up today. </p><p></p><p>It is said by some longtime Al-Anons that they are grateful that they had to come to Al-Anon. When I first heard that, I thought these people are nuts. I will NEVER, NEVER think that or say that. That was part of my own denial. Today, I get that. </p><p></p><p>Life is impossibly painful and wonderful. The question is always: What are we going to do? We have choices. We have so many choices. </p><p></p><p>We have learned things through our deep pain about our precious children and their choices that some people NEVER learn in their whole lives. </p><p></p><p>We have cut all of the extraneous things of life away and have looked at the core and have come through to the other side. We are survivors. We are still alive. Isn't it amazing that as much pain as we have felt, we are still alive? </p><p></p><p>I am very grateful today. The sun is shining here, it is impossibly cold for the South, and there is a lot to live for. I am thankful for the authenticity, truth-telling and sharing from each of you. Have a wonderful day today. You deserve everything good.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 618214, member: 17542"] It's the disease. The lies, the using, the manipulation, the denial, the story of how awesome drugs are, the drama, all of the bare ugliness and self-destruction. It's part of the monster disease. I see this 40-foot-tall monster who has ahold of my precious son. That monster has him completely sewed up right now. And the bad thing is: my son is embracing this monster. He loves the monster. He has accepted and become the monster, for right now. Underneath, inside is my precious son. He is STILL there. Somewhere. But he will stay submerged until HE decides he doesn't love the monster anymore. One day, he will rear his head back, he will look that monster in the face, and he will start the long, long journey of rejection. Maybe. The monster plus my son together are too powerful for me to fight. For us to fight. We have done it all, and nearly killed ourselves in the process. Our job now is to walk in the other direction for a while. Work at the art gallery. Walk beside the ocean. Take a nap. Take a trip. Have a massage. Get to work. Do the laundry. Scrub the floor. Live our lives. Let it go for now. Feel our own feelings when we need to---the deep fear we still have, the despair, the anger, the helplessness. Feel it for 5 minutes a day or 10 minutes or an hour or for the afternoon---whatever we still need. Then, get up and walk in the other direction, and claim our own lives and all of the wonderful things in this world that are still available to us. Take that painting class Cedar! Sign up today. It is said by some longtime Al-Anons that they are grateful that they had to come to Al-Anon. When I first heard that, I thought these people are nuts. I will NEVER, NEVER think that or say that. That was part of my own denial. Today, I get that. Life is impossibly painful and wonderful. The question is always: What are we going to do? We have choices. We have so many choices. We have learned things through our deep pain about our precious children and their choices that some people NEVER learn in their whole lives. We have cut all of the extraneous things of life away and have looked at the core and have come through to the other side. We are survivors. We are still alive. Isn't it amazing that as much pain as we have felt, we are still alive? I am very grateful today. The sun is shining here, it is impossibly cold for the South, and there is a lot to live for. I am thankful for the authenticity, truth-telling and sharing from each of you. Have a wonderful day today. You deserve everything good. [/QUOTE]
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When is total detachment the right thing to do?
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