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Substance Abuse
When it's your spouse...
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<blockquote data-quote="greenrene" data-source="post: 652992" data-attributes="member: 9177"><p>The inlaw dynamic is so messed up that even I don't understand all of it. They are very enmeshed and dysfunctional, but they're also very wealthy and have been able to create this illusion of this beautiful, happy family that is pretty on the outside but crumbling on the outside.</p><p></p><p>For a long time husband was able to shift the blame for everything onto me and let his alcoholism fly under the radar. I was even blamed for difficult child's issues. He had his little act down pat - denial and blame, denial and blame. Claiming to be "miserable" to his mother while acting like everything was hunky dory to me at home. I was blissfully unaware of all this until it all hit the fan a couple of years ago with difficult child's behavior, and something had to give.</p><p></p><p>My sister in law (husband's sister) bought into it all until she really got to know me and realized the true scope of the situation. Since then she has been my biggest ally, fighting to get the real situation out in the open, which is not easy after years and years of lies and denial by so many.</p><p></p><p>husband's true colors have started showing lately after choices he's made and various situations have come about which have brought the truth closer to the surface. I have told him that his house of cards is about to come crashing down. I think part of him is tired of the farce, but beer still rules his life.</p><p></p><p>He's not a "mean" drunk, but he's basically abandoned me and the kids. He drinks every day, and he drinks while he drives. Even when he's home, he's not really "here." </p><p></p><p>difficult child was here visiting for a week recently, and he did not do ONE thing with her despite everyone telling him that he needed to spend time with her.</p><p></p><p>No ultimatums have been issued, yet. But I think it's coming. These next couple of weeks could get messy.</p><p></p><p>Thank goodness I have an excellent therapist who is just a phone call or text away.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="greenrene, post: 652992, member: 9177"] The inlaw dynamic is so messed up that even I don't understand all of it. They are very enmeshed and dysfunctional, but they're also very wealthy and have been able to create this illusion of this beautiful, happy family that is pretty on the outside but crumbling on the outside. For a long time husband was able to shift the blame for everything onto me and let his alcoholism fly under the radar. I was even blamed for difficult child's issues. He had his little act down pat - denial and blame, denial and blame. Claiming to be "miserable" to his mother while acting like everything was hunky dory to me at home. I was blissfully unaware of all this until it all hit the fan a couple of years ago with difficult child's behavior, and something had to give. My sister in law (husband's sister) bought into it all until she really got to know me and realized the true scope of the situation. Since then she has been my biggest ally, fighting to get the real situation out in the open, which is not easy after years and years of lies and denial by so many. husband's true colors have started showing lately after choices he's made and various situations have come about which have brought the truth closer to the surface. I have told him that his house of cards is about to come crashing down. I think part of him is tired of the farce, but beer still rules his life. He's not a "mean" drunk, but he's basically abandoned me and the kids. He drinks every day, and he drinks while he drives. Even when he's home, he's not really "here." difficult child was here visiting for a week recently, and he did not do ONE thing with her despite everyone telling him that he needed to spend time with her. No ultimatums have been issued, yet. But I think it's coming. These next couple of weeks could get messy. Thank goodness I have an excellent therapist who is just a phone call or text away. [/QUOTE]
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