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General Parenting
When My Mother Stopped Enabling Me....
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 729058" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>My son, born with drugs in his system and autistic, was always treated the same as my other kids. He wanted his own place and successfully did it on his own dime by 20. It may feel warm and fuzzy to us and them when we mother them more than we have to, especially if they have challenges, but it never helped any adult in my opinion to coddle an adult child, even if we feel sorry for them. It doesnt help to feel sorry for them or, if we do, it is better if they don't know. A parent can really handicap a child. If a 70 year old mom has her 50 year old son or daughter living in her basement it is because she allowed the child to never adult. Some parents LIKE their offspring at home forever!! No lie here. My grandmother had a bed for her son until she died and probably would have been thrilled if he had lived with her full time forever. He was a college professor of thermodynamics, hardly unable to care for himself! But he was so tied to her that he didn't marry until she died! Sad! I think he only married because, by his own admission to me, he didn't want to be alone. Any adult can be crippled.</p><p></p><p>It in my opinion is an important part of parenting to let them cook, clean, live and learn for themselves. And leave.</p><p></p><p>Bb,I am glad you finally adulted!!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 729058, member: 1550"] My son, born with drugs in his system and autistic, was always treated the same as my other kids. He wanted his own place and successfully did it on his own dime by 20. It may feel warm and fuzzy to us and them when we mother them more than we have to, especially if they have challenges, but it never helped any adult in my opinion to coddle an adult child, even if we feel sorry for them. It doesnt help to feel sorry for them or, if we do, it is better if they don't know. A parent can really handicap a child. If a 70 year old mom has her 50 year old son or daughter living in her basement it is because she allowed the child to never adult. Some parents LIKE their offspring at home forever!! No lie here. My grandmother had a bed for her son until she died and probably would have been thrilled if he had lived with her full time forever. He was a college professor of thermodynamics, hardly unable to care for himself! But he was so tied to her that he didn't marry until she died! Sad! I think he only married because, by his own admission to me, he didn't want to be alone. Any adult can be crippled. It in my opinion is an important part of parenting to let them cook, clean, live and learn for themselves. And leave. Bb,I am glad you finally adulted!!!! [/QUOTE]
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When My Mother Stopped Enabling Me....
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