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General Parenting
When parents keep giving your kid money?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 329349" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Good point, Susie. </p><p></p><p>It's the same with kids - never make a rule you can't enforce. Never get involved in a battle you can't be certain of winning. It's the same with your parents. Grandparents especially are notorious for spoiling grandkids, they see it as their job.</p><p></p><p>So - natural consequences. For grandparents as well as kids.</p><p></p><p>ANother possibility - talk through with them the range of responses they can use. For example, difficult child wants to go out with friends but is broke? WHY is she broke? If she is broke, then she can't afford to go out. it's as simple as that. Entertainment is expensive. Going out with friends costs the price of the meal; of drinks; of whatever club they're going to; transport; party clothing.</p><p></p><p>If you want to spend time with friends, there are cheaper options. You can hire a DVD (or borrow one from friends - even cheaper) then invite friends around for a movie session and make popcorn. THis also gives grandparents the chance to meet the friends (to make sure they exist!) and maybe to also enjoy some young company.</p><p></p><p>ANother option for granddaughter wanting to afford going out - maybe giving her access to a limited amount on a credit account at the restaurant could be an option. "I've put $20 on the tab for you at Jumpin' Joe's so you can eat there tonight with your friends to that amount."</p><p></p><p>That avoids her having the oh so tempting cash in hand.</p><p></p><p>The other problem - the sense of entitlement. What is she doing to earn the occasional $20? I wouldn't nag Grandma for an answer, but simply ask her to consider, for difficult child's own sake, the need for her to connect getting money, with earning it in some way.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 329349, member: 1991"] Good point, Susie. It's the same with kids - never make a rule you can't enforce. Never get involved in a battle you can't be certain of winning. It's the same with your parents. Grandparents especially are notorious for spoiling grandkids, they see it as their job. So - natural consequences. For grandparents as well as kids. ANother possibility - talk through with them the range of responses they can use. For example, difficult child wants to go out with friends but is broke? WHY is she broke? If she is broke, then she can't afford to go out. it's as simple as that. Entertainment is expensive. Going out with friends costs the price of the meal; of drinks; of whatever club they're going to; transport; party clothing. If you want to spend time with friends, there are cheaper options. You can hire a DVD (or borrow one from friends - even cheaper) then invite friends around for a movie session and make popcorn. THis also gives grandparents the chance to meet the friends (to make sure they exist!) and maybe to also enjoy some young company. ANother option for granddaughter wanting to afford going out - maybe giving her access to a limited amount on a credit account at the restaurant could be an option. "I've put $20 on the tab for you at Jumpin' Joe's so you can eat there tonight with your friends to that amount." That avoids her having the oh so tempting cash in hand. The other problem - the sense of entitlement. What is she doing to earn the occasional $20? I wouldn't nag Grandma for an answer, but simply ask her to consider, for difficult child's own sake, the need for her to connect getting money, with earning it in some way. Marg [/QUOTE]
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When parents keep giving your kid money?
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