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When psychiatrist doesn't return calls! -UPDATE
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<blockquote data-quote="SRL" data-source="post: 31588" data-attributes="member: 701"><p>Totoro, I'm sorry--I know how frustrating it is when doctors aren't professional in their dealings with patients. Once we had an out of town appointment for difficult child and my husband took off work to go and the doctor didn't show. He'd been at an out of town funeral and told his staff he'd be back Monday and when Monday am rolled around he not only didn't show he didn't call his staff to have them cancel his appointments. They were so embarrassed and so apologetic.</p><p></p><p>Argghhhh on the county mental health! Do you have any paperwork from the days when they were considering Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)? If speech, Occupational Therapist (OT) and support for anxiety is what you're after and they are ignorant I'd be inclined to pull the paperwork out and use it to get what I needed for my child. I hate to play games but if it would accomplish the same end then label be dammed.</p><p></p><p>I've been there done that with the anxiety and it's heartbreaking when your child is terrified to even be out of the room with you. It's a fine line dance between giving them the security of parent being there/being home and building coping skills. If you can start building coping methods for her in teenie tiny steps to give her successes it may help. </p><p></p><p>Parting routines--work on finding something beyond the hug and kiss goodbye and assurance that you'll be back. We stumbled upon this one but difficult child has little dogs with loops and our routine became that he would pick out two dogs--one would go on his backpack and the other he would give to me in the morning before school. I would tell difficult child where I'd be going that day and then I'd(literally) take that dog with me all day long in the car, my purse, etc. For some reason it formed a more secure visualization in his young mind than visualizing mom in various spots. At the end of the school day the dogs would reunite and I'd reaffirm where we'd been.</p><p></p><p>Work to make her secure in being away from you at home first, then out in the yard, then short trips nearby. Electronic gadgets are great for this--I hauled the baby monitor back out and set it up in the basement so difficult child could watch tv or play in the yard and be assured that I would hear him and visa versa at all times (and I responded immediately). I taught him how to call me on my cell phone and always made sure that when I left I would leave him a list of where I was going and show him my cell phone. I'd also have him do a practice call on my way out the driveway when he was very anxious so he knew he could reach me at all times.</p><p></p><p>I scheduled a weekly date out of the house to keep him going places because he was starting to refuse. The deal was I would choose some place then he could choose some place. At first I made it very quick and easy for my choice (MacDonald's, bookstore cafe) and he often picked ToysRUs to look at toys. As the year went on I broadened my choices to get him into other places. This helped immensely and we still go on a weekly date together, only this time to the bookstore cafe because we both like it. </p><p></p><p>I usually left him a note of where I was going and what time I'd be back. He was very in tune to written language so this helped in his case.</p><p></p><p>I had one friend whose house difficult child would go to--she understood the situation and difficult child liked her kids. This was a last resort but it will help if you can find one "safe feeling" alternative for the times like you just had. </p><p></p><p>There was a year where I rarely left the house without difficult child and he rarely left me except for school. It was so traumatic for him and he downward spiraled so fast and hard on medications that my other children begged us not to go there again. We split up appointments, would do things like meet and swap off difficult child in the hallway and tag team, bring him along with Gameboy and a book bag and we missed a lot of outings. He's still not 100% but he's reached a point where we can usually find options that will work--ie a few summers ago I wanted to attend a Bible Study at a church that wasn't ours and he was anxious about 1) going and 2) attending the daycare. So I worked out an arrangement where he'd bring his bean bag chair, gameboy, juice and snack, and sit in the kitchen next to the room I was in. I was fine with that--it showed huge amounts of flexibility, growth and problem solving. </p><p></p><p>In difficult child's case the year of total emotional support was necessary while we worked on stability--once he was on the road to being stable then we could start nudging him forward in the anxiety realm plus he started taking steps forward himself.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SRL, post: 31588, member: 701"] Totoro, I'm sorry--I know how frustrating it is when doctors aren't professional in their dealings with patients. Once we had an out of town appointment for difficult child and my husband took off work to go and the doctor didn't show. He'd been at an out of town funeral and told his staff he'd be back Monday and when Monday am rolled around he not only didn't show he didn't call his staff to have them cancel his appointments. They were so embarrassed and so apologetic. Argghhhh on the county mental health! Do you have any paperwork from the days when they were considering Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)? If speech, Occupational Therapist (OT) and support for anxiety is what you're after and they are ignorant I'd be inclined to pull the paperwork out and use it to get what I needed for my child. I hate to play games but if it would accomplish the same end then label be dammed. I've been there done that with the anxiety and it's heartbreaking when your child is terrified to even be out of the room with you. It's a fine line dance between giving them the security of parent being there/being home and building coping skills. If you can start building coping methods for her in teenie tiny steps to give her successes it may help. Parting routines--work on finding something beyond the hug and kiss goodbye and assurance that you'll be back. We stumbled upon this one but difficult child has little dogs with loops and our routine became that he would pick out two dogs--one would go on his backpack and the other he would give to me in the morning before school. I would tell difficult child where I'd be going that day and then I'd(literally) take that dog with me all day long in the car, my purse, etc. For some reason it formed a more secure visualization in his young mind than visualizing mom in various spots. At the end of the school day the dogs would reunite and I'd reaffirm where we'd been. Work to make her secure in being away from you at home first, then out in the yard, then short trips nearby. Electronic gadgets are great for this--I hauled the baby monitor back out and set it up in the basement so difficult child could watch tv or play in the yard and be assured that I would hear him and visa versa at all times (and I responded immediately). I taught him how to call me on my cell phone and always made sure that when I left I would leave him a list of where I was going and show him my cell phone. I'd also have him do a practice call on my way out the driveway when he was very anxious so he knew he could reach me at all times. I scheduled a weekly date out of the house to keep him going places because he was starting to refuse. The deal was I would choose some place then he could choose some place. At first I made it very quick and easy for my choice (MacDonald's, bookstore cafe) and he often picked ToysRUs to look at toys. As the year went on I broadened my choices to get him into other places. This helped immensely and we still go on a weekly date together, only this time to the bookstore cafe because we both like it. I usually left him a note of where I was going and what time I'd be back. He was very in tune to written language so this helped in his case. I had one friend whose house difficult child would go to--she understood the situation and difficult child liked her kids. This was a last resort but it will help if you can find one "safe feeling" alternative for the times like you just had. There was a year where I rarely left the house without difficult child and he rarely left me except for school. It was so traumatic for him and he downward spiraled so fast and hard on medications that my other children begged us not to go there again. We split up appointments, would do things like meet and swap off difficult child in the hallway and tag team, bring him along with Gameboy and a book bag and we missed a lot of outings. He's still not 100% but he's reached a point where we can usually find options that will work--ie a few summers ago I wanted to attend a Bible Study at a church that wasn't ours and he was anxious about 1) going and 2) attending the daycare. So I worked out an arrangement where he'd bring his bean bag chair, gameboy, juice and snack, and sit in the kitchen next to the room I was in. I was fine with that--it showed huge amounts of flexibility, growth and problem solving. In difficult child's case the year of total emotional support was necessary while we worked on stability--once he was on the road to being stable then we could start nudging him forward in the anxiety realm plus he started taking steps forward himself. Hang in there. [/QUOTE]
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When psychiatrist doesn't return calls! -UPDATE
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