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General Parenting
When psychiatrist doesn't return calls! -UPDATE
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<blockquote data-quote="SRL" data-source="post: 31880" data-attributes="member: 701"><p>I know it's hard to think up new things but for us those new strategies became the seeds for building coping strategies for my difficult child to live life in this terrifying world. I guess even beyond for that matter--last fall my aunt was very ill with a terminal disease and I had to leave him overnight for the first time (on the first day of school nonetheless!). I prepped him with a note and taped it to his place at the table. When I was getting ready to leave he brought me one of his dogs. He hadn't done it in well over a year but this time it wasn't for me or him--it was so I could have his dog give my aunt a "snuggle". <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>Simple lists work best. </p><p></p><p>Working on new strategies was important to me because it kept me from floundering. It's not exactly the most hopeful time of life.</p><p></p><p>Oh, I wouldn't suggest sending a kitty off on a long trip unless it's her idea (rage city when she decides she wants it and it's half way across the country). Start in small ways--some strategies should be hers while others will be yours. For instance, difficult child was persevating over our goodbye routine at school that year and an hour before school would start in "Mom, be sure you hug and kiss me and tell me good-bye when you leave" over and over again. I could just see the angst rise every time he went through it. So I wrote up a list of the steps in our routine from a few minutes before we left until I pulled back in the driveway from dropping him off being sure to highlight those he was persevating on. When he would start I would pull out the list from my pocket and show him that it was now my responsibility and he didn't have to worry about it anymore. I didn't solve our problem by any means but it did take a little bite out of it and I just kept chipping away.</p><p></p><p>Have you tried writing social stories? These are often effective with younger children:</p><p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw/104-7032341-0420706?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=social+stories+carol+gray" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw/104...ries+carol+gray</a></p><p></p><p>The other thing I would do is start looking for ways to empower her to take control of her scary situations. If it's noise, arm her with earplugs or a walkman or noise cancelling headphones. If it's the dark rig her up with a remote to turn on the light in her room. If it's being away from you in the house, start carrying walkie talkies, etc. At our house when it was the level of water in the tub I drew on arrows and instructions on the tub wall in permanent marker. The mroe you can make her feel like she has some charge instead of those situations having total control over her, the better. difficult child was a poor responder to medications so these were not only critical, they gave him coping skills to build on that medications can't.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SRL, post: 31880, member: 701"] I know it's hard to think up new things but for us those new strategies became the seeds for building coping strategies for my difficult child to live life in this terrifying world. I guess even beyond for that matter--last fall my aunt was very ill with a terminal disease and I had to leave him overnight for the first time (on the first day of school nonetheless!). I prepped him with a note and taped it to his place at the table. When I was getting ready to leave he brought me one of his dogs. He hadn't done it in well over a year but this time it wasn't for me or him--it was so I could have his dog give my aunt a "snuggle". :-) Simple lists work best. Working on new strategies was important to me because it kept me from floundering. It's not exactly the most hopeful time of life. Oh, I wouldn't suggest sending a kitty off on a long trip unless it's her idea (rage city when she decides she wants it and it's half way across the country). Start in small ways--some strategies should be hers while others will be yours. For instance, difficult child was persevating over our goodbye routine at school that year and an hour before school would start in "Mom, be sure you hug and kiss me and tell me good-bye when you leave" over and over again. I could just see the angst rise every time he went through it. So I wrote up a list of the steps in our routine from a few minutes before we left until I pulled back in the driveway from dropping him off being sure to highlight those he was persevating on. When he would start I would pull out the list from my pocket and show him that it was now my responsibility and he didn't have to worry about it anymore. I didn't solve our problem by any means but it did take a little bite out of it and I just kept chipping away. Have you tried writing social stories? These are often effective with younger children: [url="http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw/104-7032341-0420706?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=social+stories+carol+gray"]http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw/104...ries+carol+gray[/url] The other thing I would do is start looking for ways to empower her to take control of her scary situations. If it's noise, arm her with earplugs or a walkman or noise cancelling headphones. If it's the dark rig her up with a remote to turn on the light in her room. If it's being away from you in the house, start carrying walkie talkies, etc. At our house when it was the level of water in the tub I drew on arrows and instructions on the tub wall in permanent marker. The mroe you can make her feel like she has some charge instead of those situations having total control over her, the better. difficult child was a poor responder to medications so these were not only critical, they gave him coping skills to build on that medications can't. [/QUOTE]
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