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when relatives don't want your kids near their kids...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 205308" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I'm so stunned to read that little bro was a stoner, still lights up, and is an alcoholic (functional or not) that I skipped all the other posts to respond...lol. Hope you don't mind. </p><p>Excuse me, but HE HAS SOME NERVE!!!! What does he think his kids see when he is always drunk????? That they don't know it????</p><p>Girl, you need to REALLY stop being a doormat. You don't need to confront it. He sounds self-righteous, like he'd explode and not speak to you for years for pointing out the truth about himself, but in my opinion your family dynamics are dysfunctional and nobody needs to know what your kids do, except a therapist or a trusted friend. I can't believe THIS man is judging you and your kids and thinks that keeping your kids away from his will negate HIS bad influence on them. Pfffft. I'm not a doormat...lol. If it were me, I would have skipped the whole affair and sent gifts to the nieces and nephews. I'd tell mom and co. only surface stuff, what they need to know. Or if I didn't I would be very aware that a game of "telephone" will happen and nothing I said was sacred. My family was sort of that way so I shut out Mom. I would say "Please don't spread this around" and as soon as I called Auntie or Sister they'd blast me about what Mom told them. When I called her in on it, she'd say, "There are no secrets in a family." Mom was no great parent, but she loved to criticize me (I was family scapegoat, partly because I allowed it). Mom passed on and I know i can trust my sister to keep everything to herself. If I couldn't, I would tell my best friend or a therapist about my kids, but not her. I didn't read to see what you figured out, but I hope you realize your brother's incredible hypocrisy and dismiss his feelings about your parenting. Obviously, some stuff runs in the family (and that's NOT your fault). Obviously your brother also got some of the genes that make one predisposed to substances. Jeeeeeeeeeeez. I have to part from those who think your brother was in the right and justified in (in my opinion) being a jerk. I do agree that family should come first and that it was insulting of him to ask your kids to stay home. Friends, maybe. Family, no. I find it self-righteous and I would be ticked off. (((Big hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 205308, member: 1550"] I'm so stunned to read that little bro was a stoner, still lights up, and is an alcoholic (functional or not) that I skipped all the other posts to respond...lol. Hope you don't mind. Excuse me, but HE HAS SOME NERVE!!!! What does he think his kids see when he is always drunk????? That they don't know it???? Girl, you need to REALLY stop being a doormat. You don't need to confront it. He sounds self-righteous, like he'd explode and not speak to you for years for pointing out the truth about himself, but in my opinion your family dynamics are dysfunctional and nobody needs to know what your kids do, except a therapist or a trusted friend. I can't believe THIS man is judging you and your kids and thinks that keeping your kids away from his will negate HIS bad influence on them. Pfffft. I'm not a doormat...lol. If it were me, I would have skipped the whole affair and sent gifts to the nieces and nephews. I'd tell mom and co. only surface stuff, what they need to know. Or if I didn't I would be very aware that a game of "telephone" will happen and nothing I said was sacred. My family was sort of that way so I shut out Mom. I would say "Please don't spread this around" and as soon as I called Auntie or Sister they'd blast me about what Mom told them. When I called her in on it, she'd say, "There are no secrets in a family." Mom was no great parent, but she loved to criticize me (I was family scapegoat, partly because I allowed it). Mom passed on and I know i can trust my sister to keep everything to herself. If I couldn't, I would tell my best friend or a therapist about my kids, but not her. I didn't read to see what you figured out, but I hope you realize your brother's incredible hypocrisy and dismiss his feelings about your parenting. Obviously, some stuff runs in the family (and that's NOT your fault). Obviously your brother also got some of the genes that make one predisposed to substances. Jeeeeeeeeeeez. I have to part from those who think your brother was in the right and justified in (in my opinion) being a jerk. I do agree that family should come first and that it was insulting of him to ask your kids to stay home. Friends, maybe. Family, no. I find it self-righteous and I would be ticked off. (((Big hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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