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Parent Emeritus
When the ‘good’ one falls off the rails
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 743957" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Hi Elsi,</p><p>I'm so sorry for the heartache you are feeling over this. The poor choices your children have made in their lives is no reflection on you as a mother. They are adults and I doubt anyone held a gun to their heads telling them to drink, do drugs or have an affair. It's okay for your heart to hurt because of their choices but it's not okay for you own any responsibility, that my hear friend is all on them.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes, you will be able to handle it. Something I try to practice that has really helped me, is to project out positive even within my own thoughts. How we respond to any life situation starts in our mind. If we are thinking about a life scenario that <u>could</u> happen and we say things like "I will be devastated" then that is most likely how we will respond, but if we instead say "I will deal with it and I will get through it" we are setting our minds to focus on the positive.</p><p>Now, for those grandchildren and your daughter in law. You don't have to lose her and the kids. My son married the sweetest girl, I mean she was literally an answer to my prayers. Well, my son decided partying and fooling around with other woman was more to his liking so their marriage ended. My granddaughter was 2 1/2 and my grandson was 3 months. I made a point to stay connected to them. My former daughter in law has remarried and has another child who I also claim as my grandchild. They live 2000 miles from me but husband and I go and see them. I make sure to send b-day & Christmas presents plus "just because" gifts throughout the year. My son has had nothing to do with them since he left them. He has tried to get information about the kids from me and I will not tell him anything. I have made it clear to my former daughter in law that her and the kids safety and privacy is a top priority for me. I have also told my son that my relationship with them is none of his business.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there Elsi - "You will get through this"</p><p>Sending you ((HUGS))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 743957, member: 18516"] Hi Elsi, I'm so sorry for the heartache you are feeling over this. The poor choices your children have made in their lives is no reflection on you as a mother. They are adults and I doubt anyone held a gun to their heads telling them to drink, do drugs or have an affair. It's okay for your heart to hurt because of their choices but it's not okay for you own any responsibility, that my hear friend is all on them. Yes, you will be able to handle it. Something I try to practice that has really helped me, is to project out positive even within my own thoughts. How we respond to any life situation starts in our mind. If we are thinking about a life scenario that [U]could[/U] happen and we say things like "I will be devastated" then that is most likely how we will respond, but if we instead say "I will deal with it and I will get through it" we are setting our minds to focus on the positive. Now, for those grandchildren and your daughter in law. You don't have to lose her and the kids. My son married the sweetest girl, I mean she was literally an answer to my prayers. Well, my son decided partying and fooling around with other woman was more to his liking so their marriage ended. My granddaughter was 2 1/2 and my grandson was 3 months. I made a point to stay connected to them. My former daughter in law has remarried and has another child who I also claim as my grandchild. They live 2000 miles from me but husband and I go and see them. I make sure to send b-day & Christmas presents plus "just because" gifts throughout the year. My son has had nothing to do with them since he left them. He has tried to get information about the kids from me and I will not tell him anything. I have made it clear to my former daughter in law that her and the kids safety and privacy is a top priority for me. I have also told my son that my relationship with them is none of his business. Hang in there Elsi - "You will get through this" Sending you ((HUGS)) [/QUOTE]
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When the ‘good’ one falls off the rails
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