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When to help our adult children?
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 94256" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>I grew up under the "You're an adult -at 18-, if you make your bed lie in it" philosophy.</p><p></p><p>husband's Dad had that philosophy, but his mother didn't.</p><p></p><p>We have had some rough years. Plenty of times the cupboards were bare and the frig empty. Couldn't tell you how many times utilities were shut off.</p><p></p><p>I wouldn't dare ask my Mom for a dime. I knew the answer. mother in law saved our fannies I can't tell you how many many times over the years. While I most certainly appreciate what she did, it also hurt us in the long run. husband never worried about paying bills ect cuz he knew his Mom would bail him out. He never worried about losing a job cuz Mom would pay the rent and bills and buy the food. She'd even let us move in if necessary.</p><p></p><p>I'm sticking with the "you make your bed" philosophy for the most part. Oh, I'm not as rigid as my Mom about it. I have no real problem helping out with daycare when it's truely needed. I've been known to offer a huge homecooked meal when I knew easy child and sister in law were having a tough time. Also been known to give them a bag of food, or let them shop in my pantry.</p><p></p><p>But I don't pay for college. I don't pay bills. I don't loan money.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 94256, member: 84"] I grew up under the "You're an adult -at 18-, if you make your bed lie in it" philosophy. husband's Dad had that philosophy, but his mother didn't. We have had some rough years. Plenty of times the cupboards were bare and the frig empty. Couldn't tell you how many times utilities were shut off. I wouldn't dare ask my Mom for a dime. I knew the answer. mother in law saved our fannies I can't tell you how many many times over the years. While I most certainly appreciate what she did, it also hurt us in the long run. husband never worried about paying bills ect cuz he knew his Mom would bail him out. He never worried about losing a job cuz Mom would pay the rent and bills and buy the food. She'd even let us move in if necessary. I'm sticking with the "you make your bed" philosophy for the most part. Oh, I'm not as rigid as my Mom about it. I have no real problem helping out with daycare when it's truely needed. I've been known to offer a huge homecooked meal when I knew easy child and sister in law were having a tough time. Also been known to give them a bag of food, or let them shop in my pantry. But I don't pay for college. I don't pay bills. I don't loan money. [/QUOTE]
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