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When to help our adult children?
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 94266" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Daisylover</div><div class="ubbcode-body">We have had some rough years. Plenty of times the cupboards were bare and the frig empty. Couldn't tell you how many times utilities were shut off.</p><p> </div></div></p><p></p><p>This made me think back to when I was married to exh and easy child was just under 2, difficult child was JUST born and we ran out of heating gas and the company would not refill unless it was a prepay. Exh went to his mom and she lent us the $300 deposit but only after he signed a peice of paper saying that upon the sale of our ONLY car within the next 2 weeks we would pay it directly back to her, with 2% interest! So, we sold our car, gave her the money and used exh's work vehicle for everything. My friend had to drive me in her school bus (with my kids in carseats on the bus) over 15 miles to hand mother in law the $300 cash only repayment. Another time, we were homeless for 3 weeks and while exh went and stayed at his friend's loft (probably doing cocaine 24/7), I stayed with my brother's family of 5 for a few days, then to sister in law's family for a few days. I asked exh's mom if I could stay with her (she had a 4 bedroom home and it was only her and father in law) for a few days and she said, "No". And every year she demanded our presence for Christmas dinner at her house and we had to bring something as well as pay $15/family. </p><p></p><p>That must be the other extreme, because I would NEVER allow my kids to be homeless, especially if they had my grandkids, and I would not be charging them for Christmas dinner. However, that said, I can now see that my mother in law was the mother of an obvious difficult child and I just didn't know it yet, so maybe that's why she was the way she was with exh. ??</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 94266, member: 2211"] <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Daisylover</div><div class="ubbcode-body">We have had some rough years. Plenty of times the cupboards were bare and the frig empty. Couldn't tell you how many times utilities were shut off. </div></div> This made me think back to when I was married to exh and easy child was just under 2, difficult child was JUST born and we ran out of heating gas and the company would not refill unless it was a prepay. Exh went to his mom and she lent us the $300 deposit but only after he signed a peice of paper saying that upon the sale of our ONLY car within the next 2 weeks we would pay it directly back to her, with 2% interest! So, we sold our car, gave her the money and used exh's work vehicle for everything. My friend had to drive me in her school bus (with my kids in carseats on the bus) over 15 miles to hand mother in law the $300 cash only repayment. Another time, we were homeless for 3 weeks and while exh went and stayed at his friend's loft (probably doing cocaine 24/7), I stayed with my brother's family of 5 for a few days, then to sister in law's family for a few days. I asked exh's mom if I could stay with her (she had a 4 bedroom home and it was only her and father in law) for a few days and she said, "No". And every year she demanded our presence for Christmas dinner at her house and we had to bring something as well as pay $15/family. That must be the other extreme, because I would NEVER allow my kids to be homeless, especially if they had my grandkids, and I would not be charging them for Christmas dinner. However, that said, I can now see that my mother in law was the mother of an obvious difficult child and I just didn't know it yet, so maybe that's why she was the way she was with exh. ?? [/QUOTE]
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