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When to help our adult children?
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<blockquote data-quote="Chele" data-source="post: 94493" data-attributes="member: 4189"><p>I think you have gotten some great replies.</p><p>Here is what hits me- <strong>your signature.</strong></p><p></p><p>(Veteran of parenting a trouble teen. She is doing very well. </p><p>My family is living proof that there is light at the end of long dark tunnels.) </p><p></p><p>Sorry I don't know how to quote something yet.</p><p></p><p>I think this says it all. She is going very well. If she is and you do not feel you are enabling her, then go for it. I think the key is to insure that your SO and you are on the same page in what and how you decide to help.</p><p></p><p>I ,too, had one parent that I would never consider asking for a thing and then my Mom was there to help anytime. I guess I have a lot of pride that keeps me from asking but it has always been nice to know that if I lost my job or got a divorce that I had someone to turn for help. </p><p></p><p>I don't have any kids out of the house yet but I know that I have been saving old furniture, sheets, towels etc. to give to them. I can't wait to help them set up their first dorm or apartment, it is so fun to go shopping. But, I certainly won't help my difficult child son, if he doesn't start helping himself and changing his ways. I will just save it all for my daughter.</p><p></p><p>One last thing- At 45 years old, I have sure learned how to tune my parents out when needed also. They have different views on some things than we do, so I just say, Oh- ok and let it go when they criticize. Or, I will just give a little dig like- Well, you never did it for me and that is exactly why I want to help her some, she's a good or responsible person now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Chele, post: 94493, member: 4189"] I think you have gotten some great replies. Here is what hits me- [b]your signature.[/b] (Veteran of parenting a trouble teen. She is doing very well. My family is living proof that there is light at the end of long dark tunnels.) Sorry I don't know how to quote something yet. I think this says it all. She is going very well. If she is and you do not feel you are enabling her, then go for it. I think the key is to insure that your SO and you are on the same page in what and how you decide to help. I ,too, had one parent that I would never consider asking for a thing and then my Mom was there to help anytime. I guess I have a lot of pride that keeps me from asking but it has always been nice to know that if I lost my job or got a divorce that I had someone to turn for help. I don't have any kids out of the house yet but I know that I have been saving old furniture, sheets, towels etc. to give to them. I can't wait to help them set up their first dorm or apartment, it is so fun to go shopping. But, I certainly won't help my difficult child son, if he doesn't start helping himself and changing his ways. I will just save it all for my daughter. One last thing- At 45 years old, I have sure learned how to tune my parents out when needed also. They have different views on some things than we do, so I just say, Oh- ok and let it go when they criticize. Or, I will just give a little dig like- Well, you never did it for me and that is exactly why I want to help her some, she's a good or responsible person now. [/QUOTE]
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When to help our adult children?
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