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When to help our adult children?
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<blockquote data-quote="carolanne" data-source="post: 94687" data-attributes="member: 1904"><p>When I turned 14 and had my first job, my parents demanded I help pay ALL bills. I was working and making about $60 a week cleaning houses and they took $50 for rent, hydro,phone(which we weren't allowed to use) groceries. If they ran out of cigarettes they went through my purse...at 18, once I had graduated high school(first diploma in the family and with honors to boot...they hated that and let me know it) I came home from work to find one small bag on the front step with one change of clothes and the local shelter address.</p><p></p><p>I worked my butt off for three years, held down two, sometimes three jobs and put myself through college. I know how to work and work hard and hope that I have instilled that in my kids.</p><p></p><p>My gfgd Jess was here this past Sunday and it was a pleasant visit. She never asked for a single thing...but when she left she had two bags of groceries as well as my promise that if she is in a tight spot I will help. There is no way any of my kids will leave my home without my helping them...but it won't be cash in their hands and they know that. I will pay a bill, give food, help with bus tickets and no they don't have to pay it back. But I won't let them abuse the help either.</p><p></p><p>The funny part? My mom, who hasn't called or visited since 2001(I stopped in 2003 because of the verbal abuse) called last month and asked for help to secure a mortgage as the place they are in is being torn down after xmas.... :rofl: </p><p></p><p>Carolanne</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="carolanne, post: 94687, member: 1904"] When I turned 14 and had my first job, my parents demanded I help pay ALL bills. I was working and making about $60 a week cleaning houses and they took $50 for rent, hydro,phone(which we weren't allowed to use) groceries. If they ran out of cigarettes they went through my purse...at 18, once I had graduated high school(first diploma in the family and with honors to boot...they hated that and let me know it) I came home from work to find one small bag on the front step with one change of clothes and the local shelter address. I worked my butt off for three years, held down two, sometimes three jobs and put myself through college. I know how to work and work hard and hope that I have instilled that in my kids. My gfgd Jess was here this past Sunday and it was a pleasant visit. She never asked for a single thing...but when she left she had two bags of groceries as well as my promise that if she is in a tight spot I will help. There is no way any of my kids will leave my home without my helping them...but it won't be cash in their hands and they know that. I will pay a bill, give food, help with bus tickets and no they don't have to pay it back. But I won't let them abuse the help either. The funny part? My mom, who hasn't called or visited since 2001(I stopped in 2003 because of the verbal abuse) called last month and asked for help to secure a mortgage as the place they are in is being torn down after xmas.... [img]:rofl:[/img] Carolanne [/QUOTE]
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When to help our adult children?
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