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When to reach out and when to let them reach out?
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<blockquote data-quote="dashcat" data-source="post: 498183" data-attributes="member: 9175"><p>My difficult child goes into no talking no mom phases from time to time. Usually, these stem from my calling her on something she doesn't want to deal with. In those cases, I just wait and she eventually comes around.</p><p></p><p>This time is a bit different for a couple of reasons: 1. She now lives in an apt with her boyfriend. In the past, she lived with Mr. Ostrich, so at least I knew a little about how she was doing. 2. She's also not communicating with dad ..this is VERY unusual but I know the reason at least: she owes him money (posted about this earlier this week).</p><p></p><p>I don't know if I should reach out again, or just wait. She texted me last Saturday: "Mom, I'm at work. Been super busy. Do you have time for lunch on Monday?". This is after two weeks of her not returning calls or texts. I only called twice and texted twice during this period. I respond "Lunch could work. Give me a call tomorrow. I love you." Her response "Will do. I love you, too."</p><p></p><p>Then, crickets.</p><p></p><p>I'm sad, disappointed but - mostly - concerned. Part of me thinks, ok, she's twenty, she's a difficult child, she's self-centered, don't take it personally. The other part of me thinks, she's a difficult child...anything could be happening. </p><p></p><p>Ugh.</p><p></p><p>So, what's the verdict wise warriors? Do you reach out to your kids when you don't hear from them ? I'm not talking about times when they are being absolute trolls ..we've all been there and that is different. What about the times when you're worried about them but you don't want to appear pushy or needy?</p><p></p><p>dash</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dashcat, post: 498183, member: 9175"] My difficult child goes into no talking no mom phases from time to time. Usually, these stem from my calling her on something she doesn't want to deal with. In those cases, I just wait and she eventually comes around. This time is a bit different for a couple of reasons: 1. She now lives in an apt with her boyfriend. In the past, she lived with Mr. Ostrich, so at least I knew a little about how she was doing. 2. She's also not communicating with dad ..this is VERY unusual but I know the reason at least: she owes him money (posted about this earlier this week). I don't know if I should reach out again, or just wait. She texted me last Saturday: "Mom, I'm at work. Been super busy. Do you have time for lunch on Monday?". This is after two weeks of her not returning calls or texts. I only called twice and texted twice during this period. I respond "Lunch could work. Give me a call tomorrow. I love you." Her response "Will do. I love you, too." Then, crickets. I'm sad, disappointed but - mostly - concerned. Part of me thinks, ok, she's twenty, she's a difficult child, she's self-centered, don't take it personally. The other part of me thinks, she's a difficult child...anything could be happening. Ugh. So, what's the verdict wise warriors? Do you reach out to your kids when you don't hear from them ? I'm not talking about times when they are being absolute trolls ..we've all been there and that is different. What about the times when you're worried about them but you don't want to appear pushy or needy? dash [/QUOTE]
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When to reach out and when to let them reach out?
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