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When to reach out and when to let them reach out?
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 498430"><p>Oh I have been there with difficult child many times. It is hard to know when to initiate and when to just wait. I agree with others it is both the age and the gfgness. I have been thinking back to my own young adulthood...and I was NOT a difficult child and very close to my mom. However I took her totally for granted... she was there when I needed her. It is a time when even PCs are pretty self centered and not really thinking of moms feelings. With my easy child 16 year old daughter, who is living at home, I have learned to back off and follow her cues for when she wants to talk with me.</p><p></p><p>It is so much harder with a difficult child because we worry so much more and our imaginations can so easily run away with us and unfortunately in the past our worries have had good cause.</p><p></p><p>So it is finding the balance between backing off and reaching out and letting her know you want contact. So I think I would send her a simple text.... "thinking about you, hows it going?". I would not confront her.. I would just simply reach out and see if she responds. If she doesn't' then grit your teeth and wait it out until she does.</p><p></p><p>If she suggests lunch or getting together then I woudl try and pin her down in that conversation... like "Monday would be great, how about 1 at Panera". Then to be honest on Monday I would text her and let her know you will be there at 1.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there... this parenting young adults is not for the faint hearted.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 498430"] Oh I have been there with difficult child many times. It is hard to know when to initiate and when to just wait. I agree with others it is both the age and the gfgness. I have been thinking back to my own young adulthood...and I was NOT a difficult child and very close to my mom. However I took her totally for granted... she was there when I needed her. It is a time when even PCs are pretty self centered and not really thinking of moms feelings. With my easy child 16 year old daughter, who is living at home, I have learned to back off and follow her cues for when she wants to talk with me. It is so much harder with a difficult child because we worry so much more and our imaginations can so easily run away with us and unfortunately in the past our worries have had good cause. So it is finding the balance between backing off and reaching out and letting her know you want contact. So I think I would send her a simple text.... "thinking about you, hows it going?". I would not confront her.. I would just simply reach out and see if she responds. If she doesn't' then grit your teeth and wait it out until she does. If she suggests lunch or getting together then I woudl try and pin her down in that conversation... like "Monday would be great, how about 1 at Panera". Then to be honest on Monday I would text her and let her know you will be there at 1. Hang in there... this parenting young adults is not for the faint hearted. TL [/QUOTE]
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When to reach out and when to let them reach out?
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