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When to step in - when to stay out ....
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 362442" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>I'd agree Borderline is a possibility. I'll add my most recent favorite to the reading list: </p><p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Essential-Family-Borderline-Personality-Disorder/dp/1592853633/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274450875&sr=8-1" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.com/Essential-Family-Borderline-Personality-Disorder/dp/1592853633/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274450875&sr=8-1</a></p><p></p><p>My Oldest does the obsessive phone-calling thing, or used to. She did it to me, in fact. When she wants something there is no turning off her engine.. it's like she keep revving up until she explodes. She becomes frantic. Youngest does this occasionally, too. I think I would stay out of that particular issue, personally. I'm pretty sure if you talk to her about it, she will deny it, or rationalize it somehow. The only way she will stop is when the natural consequences occur, i.e., someoen blocks her number or charges her with harrassment. I had to threaten to press charges against Oldest to get her to stop calling me on a couple occasions. She knew I would do it, so it worked.</p><p></p><p>The dating issues, especially posting ads on Craigslist, is a bit trickier, but honestly, I'm not sure how much power you have over that, either, as hard as I know that is. Oldest has issues in this department, also .. she uses men to get her through things. Each time she was about to lose her place to live, she'd find another guy to take her in, pay her bills, etc. Likewise with job losses, there's always someone to pick up the pieces (although she's running out of someones, this town isn't that big lol). I worried many times she'd find a loser who would put her in danger.. but actualy, it tended to be the other way around. I think she was more likely to abuse them, than vice-versa. Most men put up with a LOT of stuff from her before they'd dump her. She's quite the survivor, and has a knack for picking men who are codependent. Is it possible your daughter is the same way? If so, maybe that would put your mind at east. Knowing that Oldest was likely to kick someone's butt if they tried to hurt her, made me feel a bit better about her safety. But mostly, I realized I had to put it into the category of "things I cannot change" and do my best not to worry about it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 362442, member: 1157"] I'd agree Borderline is a possibility. I'll add my most recent favorite to the reading list: [url]http://www.amazon.com/Essential-Family-Borderline-Personality-Disorder/dp/1592853633/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274450875&sr=8-1[/url] My Oldest does the obsessive phone-calling thing, or used to. She did it to me, in fact. When she wants something there is no turning off her engine.. it's like she keep revving up until she explodes. She becomes frantic. Youngest does this occasionally, too. I think I would stay out of that particular issue, personally. I'm pretty sure if you talk to her about it, she will deny it, or rationalize it somehow. The only way she will stop is when the natural consequences occur, i.e., someoen blocks her number or charges her with harrassment. I had to threaten to press charges against Oldest to get her to stop calling me on a couple occasions. She knew I would do it, so it worked. The dating issues, especially posting ads on Craigslist, is a bit trickier, but honestly, I'm not sure how much power you have over that, either, as hard as I know that is. Oldest has issues in this department, also .. she uses men to get her through things. Each time she was about to lose her place to live, she'd find another guy to take her in, pay her bills, etc. Likewise with job losses, there's always someone to pick up the pieces (although she's running out of someones, this town isn't that big lol). I worried many times she'd find a loser who would put her in danger.. but actualy, it tended to be the other way around. I think she was more likely to abuse them, than vice-versa. Most men put up with a LOT of stuff from her before they'd dump her. She's quite the survivor, and has a knack for picking men who are codependent. Is it possible your daughter is the same way? If so, maybe that would put your mind at east. Knowing that Oldest was likely to kick someone's butt if they tried to hurt her, made me feel a bit better about her safety. But mostly, I realized I had to put it into the category of "things I cannot change" and do my best not to worry about it. [/QUOTE]
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