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When wallowing in depression seems normal....
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<blockquote data-quote="KFld" data-source="post: 25172" data-attributes="member: 2442"><p>My husband did go with me for a very short time. He was much better at detatching and felt he didn't need to be there. We did however go for private counseling for other issues that probably stemmed mostly from difficult child issues, which helped us greatly. </p><p></p><p>The thing that helped me most, and still does, is the serenity prayer. If you really really listen to the words and the meaning behind them, you can apply it to so many situations. </p><p></p><p>God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.</p><p>The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference, AMEN!!</p><p></p><p>To me this meant that I had to accept that my son was a drug addict and that I could not change that, he had too.</p><p>The courage to change the things I can, meant me. I found the courage to change me and how I reacted and responded to the situation.</p><p>And the wisdom to know the difference was a little more difficult to learn, but I did. That takes quite a bit of thinking sometimes and being realistic about whether you really can change something or not. </p><p></p><p>I used to say this prayer when I was younger and never really felt the meaning of it until I needed to apply it to the most difficult time in my life. There were nights I would go to bed and not be able to sleep and I would just keep repeating it in my head until I drifted off. </p><p></p><p>My difficult child is clean for today and I haven't felt the need to lean on this for sometime, but I know it will be the first thing I will do if need be. </p><p></p><p>I also used to read my one day at a time in alanon book very religously and I found that to be a great help. You can use something like that and just replace the drugs and alcohol with anything that is controlling your difficult child's life that you know you have no control over. </p><p></p><p>Hope something I have said helps. Hang in there!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KFld, post: 25172, member: 2442"] My husband did go with me for a very short time. He was much better at detatching and felt he didn't need to be there. We did however go for private counseling for other issues that probably stemmed mostly from difficult child issues, which helped us greatly. The thing that helped me most, and still does, is the serenity prayer. If you really really listen to the words and the meaning behind them, you can apply it to so many situations. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference, AMEN!! To me this meant that I had to accept that my son was a drug addict and that I could not change that, he had too. The courage to change the things I can, meant me. I found the courage to change me and how I reacted and responded to the situation. And the wisdom to know the difference was a little more difficult to learn, but I did. That takes quite a bit of thinking sometimes and being realistic about whether you really can change something or not. I used to say this prayer when I was younger and never really felt the meaning of it until I needed to apply it to the most difficult time in my life. There were nights I would go to bed and not be able to sleep and I would just keep repeating it in my head until I drifted off. My difficult child is clean for today and I haven't felt the need to lean on this for sometime, but I know it will be the first thing I will do if need be. I also used to read my one day at a time in alanon book very religously and I found that to be a great help. You can use something like that and just replace the drugs and alcohol with anything that is controlling your difficult child's life that you know you have no control over. Hope something I have said helps. Hang in there!!! [/QUOTE]
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When wallowing in depression seems normal....
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