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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 75652" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Dear Cinderella, </p><p></p><p>After you clean the fireplace I need you to sew my dress for the ball, then I want you to wash the dishes, chop some wood, do the windows in and out, mend my underwear, wash the dog, take out the papers and the trash (yakkity yak don't talk back), mow the yard, rake the leaves, fetch my slippers and put on a kettle for my 9:00 am tea. </p><p></p><p>I, You, Everyone will have days (and weeks, sometimes a lifetime if we let it) of days like this. Me too. Since DF became disabled it's really put a damper on what we can do. I tell myself every day that I have choices. I can offer for us to go out to eat, and there is always an excuse...so I go alone. I did that for a time, and then started feeling sorry for myself. It's not fair I'm so young and he's so old feeling. So I started doing things for me. I can't fix him, I can't make him get up (well I can I merely mention I need help cleaning and he disappears), but he's a sweet and gentle man. Mine does bring me coffee when he's not in too much pain. I can do things that please me. </p><p></p><p>Some days I think he's happier that I'm gone and out of the house. We do have the occasional date moment or we'll pig out on icecream in bed...but I learned to make myself happy 1st. If he joins me? Bonus. If not, I'm not bitter (mostly) haha. </p><p></p><p>Many Many Hugs...yours doesn't have a bad back, but what he's doing is just as much of a disability. Maybe you could start with letting him know that? </p><p></p><p>I keep thinking about the gal here who's husband had a lobotomy and realize I don't have it so bad. Sometimes thinking like that helps me too. </p><p></p><p>Hugs & Love </p><p>Star</p><p>-aren't you finished with my ball gown YET? Aaaaaaaah (stomps off like a 14 year old) :princess:</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 75652, member: 4964"] Dear Cinderella, After you clean the fireplace I need you to sew my dress for the ball, then I want you to wash the dishes, chop some wood, do the windows in and out, mend my underwear, wash the dog, take out the papers and the trash (yakkity yak don't talk back), mow the yard, rake the leaves, fetch my slippers and put on a kettle for my 9:00 am tea. I, You, Everyone will have days (and weeks, sometimes a lifetime if we let it) of days like this. Me too. Since DF became disabled it's really put a damper on what we can do. I tell myself every day that I have choices. I can offer for us to go out to eat, and there is always an excuse...so I go alone. I did that for a time, and then started feeling sorry for myself. It's not fair I'm so young and he's so old feeling. So I started doing things for me. I can't fix him, I can't make him get up (well I can I merely mention I need help cleaning and he disappears), but he's a sweet and gentle man. Mine does bring me coffee when he's not in too much pain. I can do things that please me. Some days I think he's happier that I'm gone and out of the house. We do have the occasional date moment or we'll pig out on icecream in bed...but I learned to make myself happy 1st. If he joins me? Bonus. If not, I'm not bitter (mostly) haha. Many Many Hugs...yours doesn't have a bad back, but what he's doing is just as much of a disability. Maybe you could start with letting him know that? I keep thinking about the gal here who's husband had a lobotomy and realize I don't have it so bad. Sometimes thinking like that helps me too. Hugs & Love Star -aren't you finished with my ball gown YET? Aaaaaaaah (stomps off like a 14 year old) [img]:princess:[/img] [/QUOTE]
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