Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
Family of Origin
When you take the place of the real abuser in your abusers life
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 666645" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Yes, very true. I have no doubt...none...that my sister, as well as myself, was deeply damaged due to her childhood, leaving her unable to accept the love of a man who can give it and, for some reason, picking on me all the time too. Now I'm no angel, Cedar. You were. Copa was. I wasn't. I fought back. So we did this tit for tat our entire relationship. In my mind, she was far more vicious, not just to myself but to others...my grandma, my brother, and possibly others. But I was no angel. My mom had one of the meanest tongues this side of the pond, if not all over the universe, and she taught both of her girls, quite well, how to bait, dig, harass, tease, just plain be mean and we used those skills mostly on each other. Again, I don't know why or what motivated my sister's attacks. I did it when she hurt me. That's not an excuse, but it's true. I feel she was usually the aggressor. She is actually passive-agressive, but I'm smart enough to know what she is doing that is passive-aggressive. That is a sneaky way of trying to look innocent and being guiltier than sin. She also fudges the truth. I won't say she lies. I will say she, for example, probably did not fess up to bro about how she really felt about him, talked about him, and thought about him for most of his life. I doubt she came out and told him he was not invited to her wedding because he was ugly, in her eyes. So be deleting or fudging information, she sort of skims around the truth. But certainly she was damaged by both of my parents. I don't doubt that at all.</p><p></p><p>Her biggest problem is she doesn't really feel she needs any fixing. She thinks the ONLY one in the family who did was me...lol. That is classic personality disorder, really. I'm sure my mother felt she was normal too. She was nothing near normal. I'm sure my uncle thought he was a swell guy, even while cheating on his three girlfriends at the same time and telling my dateless brother his dating stories, which I think is a form of meanness and stick-it-to-you-ness. You don't tell the ugly duckling, so to speak, how popular and desirable you are. It's just in my opinion wrong.</p><p></p><p>So this is where I stand, where I will always stand. You can not take an honest look at your l ife or your family if you can't take an honest look at yourself. My sister had one absolutely indisputable mental illness and still suffers from it...a serious eating disorder. I almost never saw her eat as an adult. Cook, yes. Eat, no. Very seldom. The thing is, she does not eat much and she exercises like she's way overweight and trying to crash diet for a wedding, far beyond what health alone demands. She has never gotten help for it. I think she believes she is a normal weight now and is cured.</p><p></p><p>My ex saw her in a grocery store and asked if she were seriously ill.</p><p></p><p>That's about the size of it. She will admit she HAD an eating disorder, but not that she is still in the throes of one.</p><p></p><p>My mother treated her like she didn't even exist. That is as harmful as verbal abuse.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 666645, member: 1550"] Yes, very true. I have no doubt...none...that my sister, as well as myself, was deeply damaged due to her childhood, leaving her unable to accept the love of a man who can give it and, for some reason, picking on me all the time too. Now I'm no angel, Cedar. You were. Copa was. I wasn't. I fought back. So we did this tit for tat our entire relationship. In my mind, she was far more vicious, not just to myself but to others...my grandma, my brother, and possibly others. But I was no angel. My mom had one of the meanest tongues this side of the pond, if not all over the universe, and she taught both of her girls, quite well, how to bait, dig, harass, tease, just plain be mean and we used those skills mostly on each other. Again, I don't know why or what motivated my sister's attacks. I did it when she hurt me. That's not an excuse, but it's true. I feel she was usually the aggressor. She is actually passive-agressive, but I'm smart enough to know what she is doing that is passive-aggressive. That is a sneaky way of trying to look innocent and being guiltier than sin. She also fudges the truth. I won't say she lies. I will say she, for example, probably did not fess up to bro about how she really felt about him, talked about him, and thought about him for most of his life. I doubt she came out and told him he was not invited to her wedding because he was ugly, in her eyes. So be deleting or fudging information, she sort of skims around the truth. But certainly she was damaged by both of my parents. I don't doubt that at all. Her biggest problem is she doesn't really feel she needs any fixing. She thinks the ONLY one in the family who did was me...lol. That is classic personality disorder, really. I'm sure my mother felt she was normal too. She was nothing near normal. I'm sure my uncle thought he was a swell guy, even while cheating on his three girlfriends at the same time and telling my dateless brother his dating stories, which I think is a form of meanness and stick-it-to-you-ness. You don't tell the ugly duckling, so to speak, how popular and desirable you are. It's just in my opinion wrong. So this is where I stand, where I will always stand. You can not take an honest look at your l ife or your family if you can't take an honest look at yourself. My sister had one absolutely indisputable mental illness and still suffers from it...a serious eating disorder. I almost never saw her eat as an adult. Cook, yes. Eat, no. Very seldom. The thing is, she does not eat much and she exercises like she's way overweight and trying to crash diet for a wedding, far beyond what health alone demands. She has never gotten help for it. I think she believes she is a normal weight now and is cured. My ex saw her in a grocery store and asked if she were seriously ill. That's about the size of it. She will admit she HAD an eating disorder, but not that she is still in the throes of one. My mother treated her like she didn't even exist. That is as harmful as verbal abuse. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
Family of Origin
When you take the place of the real abuser in your abusers life
Top