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When your adult child steals from you...
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<blockquote data-quote="Remarried1Kid" data-source="post: 383754"><p>I can't believe I found this site too. Just today I found out my 19yr old son stole my work issue credit card and has been using it right around the corner from my house!!!</p><p></p><p>I feel so sad, hurt, confused and disappointed in myself. You see I was a teen parent and had my son at 17yrs old. But I believe I did a good job. He saw me graduate from college, saw me work 2-3 jobs to provide a very stable and healthy environment for him. We went to church regularly. Never have he or I been in an environment where he felt anything but safe. Because I worked so much and his father was not a part of his life, I guess I tried to overcompensate and made sure he did not want for anything. </p><p></p><p>I started dating my childhood friend 3 years ago who has been there the entire time as I raised my son, just being a supportive friend. I feel like ever since I started this relationship and my son is no longer the only person in my life, things have slowly tumbled down hill. But the relationship has increased the experiences, travel and love in his life and I thought this would be a good thing. I have never been so happy and felt so much love and its like my son will not allow it into his life.</p><p></p><p>I sit here in tears as I struggle with what to do next. I mean using the company card could have jeopardized my job and livelihood. All because we will not give him money. All I have asked of him is to either be in school or get a job working a min of 15 hrs a week. I have to believe this is a reasonable request? I mean we paid for his first semester in college and he failed all four classes. I would not buy him a car without a job, but my parents went behind my back and bought one for him. I just knew getting a car for a young person who is not working or in school would only breed problems for him and me. They shell out hundreds each month on the car note, insurance, and putting gas in the car. He chauffeurs his friends around, sleeps until noon, etc.</p><p></p><p>I just don't know what to do as now was my best friend/husband is now faced with having to lock our door, wonder where small things have disappeared to, and just not feel comfortable in our own house. (this was not the first time things have turned up missing, but in each prior instance he blamed it on a friend). </p><p></p><p>Since my husband does not have kids I feel as though this is my burden to bear and not his. I just don't know what to do. Do I kick him out? Do I give him another 30 day notice? How can I get the person who I know he (my son) is inside to come back and get on track? </p><p></p><p>by the way I got concrete proof, by going to the store and asking them to review the security footage from the date/time stamp of the transaction. I saw him use the card with my own eyes!! He still do not know I know. I called him about it initally and asked if he knew anything about it. He told me "I can never win with you. You will always blame me" But dayum it there are only so many coincidences that I can write off!!!</p><p></p><p>Please help me. At what point do I let go?</p><p></p><p>Me: 37 yrs pretty tough on school, but liberal and very open-minded</p><p>H: 44yrs...made dumb mistakes as a young person, but quickly got on track </p><p>difficult child?: 19 yrs, used to have an entrepreneurial spirit, now not working, flunked first semester in college, way too much free time</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Remarried1Kid, post: 383754"] I can't believe I found this site too. Just today I found out my 19yr old son stole my work issue credit card and has been using it right around the corner from my house!!! I feel so sad, hurt, confused and disappointed in myself. You see I was a teen parent and had my son at 17yrs old. But I believe I did a good job. He saw me graduate from college, saw me work 2-3 jobs to provide a very stable and healthy environment for him. We went to church regularly. Never have he or I been in an environment where he felt anything but safe. Because I worked so much and his father was not a part of his life, I guess I tried to overcompensate and made sure he did not want for anything. I started dating my childhood friend 3 years ago who has been there the entire time as I raised my son, just being a supportive friend. I feel like ever since I started this relationship and my son is no longer the only person in my life, things have slowly tumbled down hill. But the relationship has increased the experiences, travel and love in his life and I thought this would be a good thing. I have never been so happy and felt so much love and its like my son will not allow it into his life. I sit here in tears as I struggle with what to do next. I mean using the company card could have jeopardized my job and livelihood. All because we will not give him money. All I have asked of him is to either be in school or get a job working a min of 15 hrs a week. I have to believe this is a reasonable request? I mean we paid for his first semester in college and he failed all four classes. I would not buy him a car without a job, but my parents went behind my back and bought one for him. I just knew getting a car for a young person who is not working or in school would only breed problems for him and me. They shell out hundreds each month on the car note, insurance, and putting gas in the car. He chauffeurs his friends around, sleeps until noon, etc. I just don't know what to do as now was my best friend/husband is now faced with having to lock our door, wonder where small things have disappeared to, and just not feel comfortable in our own house. (this was not the first time things have turned up missing, but in each prior instance he blamed it on a friend). Since my husband does not have kids I feel as though this is my burden to bear and not his. I just don't know what to do. Do I kick him out? Do I give him another 30 day notice? How can I get the person who I know he (my son) is inside to come back and get on track? by the way I got concrete proof, by going to the store and asking them to review the security footage from the date/time stamp of the transaction. I saw him use the card with my own eyes!! He still do not know I know. I called him about it initally and asked if he knew anything about it. He told me "I can never win with you. You will always blame me" But dayum it there are only so many coincidences that I can write off!!! Please help me. At what point do I let go? Me: 37 yrs pretty tough on school, but liberal and very open-minded H: 44yrs...made dumb mistakes as a young person, but quickly got on track difficult child?: 19 yrs, used to have an entrepreneurial spirit, now not working, flunked first semester in college, way too much free time [/QUOTE]
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