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When your adult child steals from you...
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 700968" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Hi Wanda, and welcome to the forum. I'm so sorry for your pain. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>It is really hard to deal with this type of grief, pain and betrayal. I don't have grandchildren yet, but I can only imagine your pain and fear are intensified by not being able to see them and know they are okay. </p><p></p><p>I think you do have to go to bed, and lay there and cry. I think that is healing. Don't fight it. Let yourself grieve as much as you need to grieve. That is completely normal. And then, when you can, get up and start living your own life. </p><p></p><p>We just can't control other people and we can't make them do right. In the end, we have to let our adult children go and focus on ourselves. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is all we can do. </p><p></p><p>We have no power over anyone except ourselves. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt when our grown kids don't "turn out" like we hoped and prayed and dreamed they would.</p><p></p><p>Right now your daughter is who she is. You can't really have a good relationship with someone who uses you, steals from you and lies to you. It just isn't possible, and that is on her, not you. Work on accepting that. You can and will still love her and want the best for her. But space and time and distance is truly what you need right now. </p><p></p><p>Start focusing on yourself and your own life. Let yourself feel your feelings as they wash over you and through you. Your feelings are real. But you don't have to react to them or to her. Work to feel but not act on those feelings. This is a very valuable thing to work on and to learn in all of our lives. </p><p></p><p>We're here for you. Please keep sharing and posting. We understand, and we care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 700968, member: 17542"] Hi Wanda, and welcome to the forum. I'm so sorry for your pain. It is really hard to deal with this type of grief, pain and betrayal. I don't have grandchildren yet, but I can only imagine your pain and fear are intensified by not being able to see them and know they are okay. I think you do have to go to bed, and lay there and cry. I think that is healing. Don't fight it. Let yourself grieve as much as you need to grieve. That is completely normal. And then, when you can, get up and start living your own life. We just can't control other people and we can't make them do right. In the end, we have to let our adult children go and focus on ourselves. This is all we can do. We have no power over anyone except ourselves. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt when our grown kids don't "turn out" like we hoped and prayed and dreamed they would. Right now your daughter is who she is. You can't really have a good relationship with someone who uses you, steals from you and lies to you. It just isn't possible, and that is on her, not you. Work on accepting that. You can and will still love her and want the best for her. But space and time and distance is truly what you need right now. Start focusing on yourself and your own life. Let yourself feel your feelings as they wash over you and through you. Your feelings are real. But you don't have to react to them or to her. Work to feel but not act on those feelings. This is a very valuable thing to work on and to learn in all of our lives. We're here for you. Please keep sharing and posting. We understand, and we care. [/QUOTE]
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