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Family of Origin
When your past as a child, follows you as a mother, as a person.
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 669802" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Copa, could it be less a matter of choosing to isolate or punish than a normal, and perfectly understandable, fear of change?</p><p></p><p>You have made yourself very, very safe for two whole years. Now, you want to bring things in. To reclaim yourself. To see the world, even! It's a battle. Part of you is saying she is just fine thank you, living in this nice room you made for her. But anther part is screaming: "Up with this I will not put!"</p><p></p><p>So, that's got to feel pretty awful.</p><p></p><p>I would be frightened Copa, too. </p><p></p><p>Can you take some small action, do some small thing, Copa? Reward yourself by leaping into bed the minute you get back. See what either side has to say about this business of leaving safe haven and going exploring.</p><p></p><p>It sounds to me like you are becoming angry with yourself, instead. Anger will not conquer fear. They say only love will conquer fear, because we cannot feel both love and fear at the same time.</p><p></p><p>Can you concentrate on loving yourself enough to take some small action toward leaving the security of your safe haven?</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 669802, member: 17461"] Copa, could it be less a matter of choosing to isolate or punish than a normal, and perfectly understandable, fear of change? You have made yourself very, very safe for two whole years. Now, you want to bring things in. To reclaim yourself. To see the world, even! It's a battle. Part of you is saying she is just fine thank you, living in this nice room you made for her. But anther part is screaming: "Up with this I will not put!" So, that's got to feel pretty awful. I would be frightened Copa, too. Can you take some small action, do some small thing, Copa? Reward yourself by leaping into bed the minute you get back. See what either side has to say about this business of leaving safe haven and going exploring. It sounds to me like you are becoming angry with yourself, instead. Anger will not conquer fear. They say only love will conquer fear, because we cannot feel both love and fear at the same time. Can you concentrate on loving yourself enough to take some small action toward leaving the security of your safe haven? Cedar [/QUOTE]
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General Discussions
Family of Origin
When your past as a child, follows you as a mother, as a person.
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