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Family of Origin
When your past as a child, follows you as a mother, as a person.
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<blockquote data-quote="Feeling Sad" data-source="post: 669824" data-attributes="member: 19245"><p>Copa. You and I are both trying to punish ourselves. We go beyond just feeling sad. We do not feel that we deserve to have a life...let alone enjoy life.</p><p></p><p>We both feel that we would be horrible people if we carried on like nothing was wrong while our sons suffer.</p><p></p><p>When you wrote,"I like the movement on the street", I first thought of an old Ginger Roger movie in black and white with dancing down a busy New York street.</p><p></p><p>Then, very quickly I thought of something else.</p><p></p><p>Her is this once very active woman, a world traveler, and a gifted dancer living her life in bed.</p><p></p><p>This is truly the biggest sacrifice that you could make. </p><p></p><p>This is the biggest and worst punishment that you could have ever chosen. No more traveling. No more dancing. No more "movement on the streets".</p><p></p><p>We should not be punishing ourselves. Our childhoods have "punished" us enough for one entire lifetime already. We are nice people. In fact, very nice people. </p><p></p><p>We both need to take baby steps. I feel very badly. I did not read this yet. I should have been there for my fellow warrior.</p><p></p><p>Leafy is right. It is like we know each other. I feel very close. </p><p></p><p>I was thinking...you could do art or take an art class. Or volunteer 1 hour 2 times a week. Teach adults how to read on the computer at the library. Or give dance lessons in your home or for the local park and rec. Maybe just take a walk a bit farther everyday. Join a club. Hold a book club or a card game club in your home.</p><p></p><p>But the most important thing is not to feel bad in any way. Trauma has its own way of coming to the surface. You have to work hard and slowly to make some changes.</p><p></p><p>Baby steps. We will be here for you every step of the way, Copa. Maybe eating dinner in a different room. Not the kitchen or dining room necessarily, but a room you spoke of that your mother had. A safe room that you decorate for you...an art room...an dance studio...anything YOU want for you. My best things in my house are from garage sales and flea markets. Have fun. New room. New perspective. Maybe make a garden room outside for yourself.</p><p></p><p>Picture your comrades with you. If we could...we would be there for you. In an instant?</p><p></p><p>You are lucky. Your son is getting his blood tested. You have a SO. You are very talented and creative.</p><p></p><p>We all seem to make our own "cages".</p><p></p><p>I agree with Cedar about loving yourself enough to leave the security of your safe haven. </p><p></p><p>Your warrior sisters will have your back every step of the way.</p><p></p><p>Let me hear you say, "Roar!"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Feeling Sad, post: 669824, member: 19245"] Copa. You and I are both trying to punish ourselves. We go beyond just feeling sad. We do not feel that we deserve to have a life...let alone enjoy life. We both feel that we would be horrible people if we carried on like nothing was wrong while our sons suffer. When you wrote,"I like the movement on the street", I first thought of an old Ginger Roger movie in black and white with dancing down a busy New York street. Then, very quickly I thought of something else. Her is this once very active woman, a world traveler, and a gifted dancer living her life in bed. This is truly the biggest sacrifice that you could make. This is the biggest and worst punishment that you could have ever chosen. No more traveling. No more dancing. No more "movement on the streets". We should not be punishing ourselves. Our childhoods have "punished" us enough for one entire lifetime already. We are nice people. In fact, very nice people. We both need to take baby steps. I feel very badly. I did not read this yet. I should have been there for my fellow warrior. Leafy is right. It is like we know each other. I feel very close. I was thinking...you could do art or take an art class. Or volunteer 1 hour 2 times a week. Teach adults how to read on the computer at the library. Or give dance lessons in your home or for the local park and rec. Maybe just take a walk a bit farther everyday. Join a club. Hold a book club or a card game club in your home. But the most important thing is not to feel bad in any way. Trauma has its own way of coming to the surface. You have to work hard and slowly to make some changes. Baby steps. We will be here for you every step of the way, Copa. Maybe eating dinner in a different room. Not the kitchen or dining room necessarily, but a room you spoke of that your mother had. A safe room that you decorate for you...an art room...an dance studio...anything YOU want for you. My best things in my house are from garage sales and flea markets. Have fun. New room. New perspective. Maybe make a garden room outside for yourself. Picture your comrades with you. If we could...we would be there for you. In an instant? You are lucky. Your son is getting his blood tested. You have a SO. You are very talented and creative. We all seem to make our own "cages". I agree with Cedar about loving yourself enough to leave the security of your safe haven. Your warrior sisters will have your back every step of the way. Let me hear you say, "Roar!" [/QUOTE]
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When your past as a child, follows you as a mother, as a person.
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