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Family of Origin
When your past as a child, follows you as a mother, as a person.
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 669974" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Yes Copa, I looked forward to having my sister by my side.</p><p>Even though memories of my sister and her treatment of me as a child were sad, if I can forgive myself for my mistakes I made in my patterning, how can I hold her accountable, for she was a child, too. I suppose a part of that joyful anticipation of her move here was my intense desire all along to have her as a friend. She has many wonderful qualities. I think part of her inability to revisit that part of our past, is that she regrets what happened, but cannot do anything to change what occurred. I hope one day, she will know that I do not hold the past against her, that my need to study it, to understand it, embrace it, is to help me understand myself.</p><p></p><p></p><p>My father was very athletic. His high school football team were State champions. He was a collegiate all American hockey player. He taught us to love and respect the great outdoors.He instilled love of the ocean into us. He introduced us to surfing when we came to Hawaii. My father and I enjoyed jogging together when I was in high school. He ran marathons in his mid fifties. </p><p>My sister loved horses as a child. She became a horse woman on her own, teaching herself how to ride and care for these beautiful creatures. I have a fear of them, due to some unfortunate mishaps that are probably related to my fear of them. Horses have an incredible sense of humans.</p><p>It is exhausting work, rescuing and caring for horses. I know my sister and her friend find great fulfillment in it, but there are so many horses sent to slaughter. The sheer numbers of it are quite daunting.</p><p></p><p>How awesome to have this as a quest. There must be recreational centers in your area, where you could go and start swimming. Swimming is exhilarating. There is a freedom being immersed in water. Perhaps a sensory memory of our early beginnings in the womb?</p><p></p><p>I have not surfed or body surfed in some time. I have it on the back burner, to get back to it. Surfing is great exercise, so much FUN. It does take some practice, it is a matter of getting out there, working out the kinks and doing it. I have been so caught up in canoeing on the water, that I have not made the time to get back<em> in </em>the water. Maybe it is because when I am actively involved with surfing, it is hard for me to find a balance with it. That is all I want to do.</p><p></p><p>The same for my Hubby. He spent many a year driving with a limited time frame, racing to the next job. This is ingrained in his driving habits now, no matter where he is going. He is always in a rush to get from point A to B.</p><p></p><p>We differ so much, the hubs and I. I am slow and methodical, he is impatient and driven to get things done. He goes in to "sergeant" mode, firing off commands. It is great for getting the job done, but I must admit, causes some anxiety with me. But, that is a whole different thread!</p><p></p><p>Sweet dreams Copa!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 669974, member: 19522"] Yes Copa, I looked forward to having my sister by my side. Even though memories of my sister and her treatment of me as a child were sad, if I can forgive myself for my mistakes I made in my patterning, how can I hold her accountable, for she was a child, too. I suppose a part of that joyful anticipation of her move here was my intense desire all along to have her as a friend. She has many wonderful qualities. I think part of her inability to revisit that part of our past, is that she regrets what happened, but cannot do anything to change what occurred. I hope one day, she will know that I do not hold the past against her, that my need to study it, to understand it, embrace it, is to help me understand myself. My father was very athletic. His high school football team were State champions. He was a collegiate all American hockey player. He taught us to love and respect the great outdoors.He instilled love of the ocean into us. He introduced us to surfing when we came to Hawaii. My father and I enjoyed jogging together when I was in high school. He ran marathons in his mid fifties. My sister loved horses as a child. She became a horse woman on her own, teaching herself how to ride and care for these beautiful creatures. I have a fear of them, due to some unfortunate mishaps that are probably related to my fear of them. Horses have an incredible sense of humans. It is exhausting work, rescuing and caring for horses. I know my sister and her friend find great fulfillment in it, but there are so many horses sent to slaughter. The sheer numbers of it are quite daunting. How awesome to have this as a quest. There must be recreational centers in your area, where you could go and start swimming. Swimming is exhilarating. There is a freedom being immersed in water. Perhaps a sensory memory of our early beginnings in the womb? I have not surfed or body surfed in some time. I have it on the back burner, to get back to it. Surfing is great exercise, so much FUN. It does take some practice, it is a matter of getting out there, working out the kinks and doing it. I have been so caught up in canoeing on the water, that I have not made the time to get back[I] in [/I]the water. Maybe it is because when I am actively involved with surfing, it is hard for me to find a balance with it. That is all I want to do. The same for my Hubby. He spent many a year driving with a limited time frame, racing to the next job. This is ingrained in his driving habits now, no matter where he is going. He is always in a rush to get from point A to B. We differ so much, the hubs and I. I am slow and methodical, he is impatient and driven to get things done. He goes in to "sergeant" mode, firing off commands. It is great for getting the job done, but I must admit, causes some anxiety with me. But, that is a whole different thread! Sweet dreams Copa! [/QUOTE]
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When your past as a child, follows you as a mother, as a person.
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