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Where and when does it end?
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 715469" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Hi Nessie,</p><p>I'm so sorry you had to find us here but so glad you did. We all know the heartache you are experiencing.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I have received many messages like this from my son. More times than not this is just a way for our difficult adult children to lash out at us. It's kind of like "I'll show them, I'll tell her my life is over, that I'm done, then she'll be sorry she didn't help me" </p><p>Here's the thing, if you are concerned that he might really harm himself then the best thing you can do is call the police. Of course you would have to know where he is. </p><p></p><p>What consequences are you fearing? Are you afraid your son will not love you or talk to you? How is he showing that he loves you now?</p><p>If he is living his life out of control he may encounter the police all on his own. </p><p>I've called the police on my son a few times and I have no regrets.</p><p></p><p>If your son really wanted help then he would accept it. My son is the same way, he has had more chance and opportunities given to him and he always rebels and complains that it's never good enough.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Honey, we have already lost our children. If they truly cared about us they would not put us through the drama and chaos they do. I used to play out all kinds of horrific scenarios in my mind of how my son might die out there on the streets. I made myself sick! I couldn't change a thing for him but I could change me and my thinking. I had to come to accept that yes, my son could die. I also had to accept that if he did die I may never know about it. I had to allow myself to grieve for the son that I didn't have anymore. The sweet little boy is long gone. A grown man that has no respect for life has taken his place. </p><p>I will always love my son but I cannot allow him to hold my emotions hostage. I have my own life to live and I have made the choice to live it to fullest. </p><p></p><p>None of this is easy. There are no one size fits all answers. We have to journey through these trial as best we can. What I can tell you with certainty is that you can move on from the deep pain. It's not easy but it's so worth the effort. Be good to yourself. Find something you enjoy doing that can help to occupy your time and thoughts.</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you are here with us. Keep sharing! We care and it helps to get it out.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) to you................</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 715469, member: 18516"] Hi Nessie, I'm so sorry you had to find us here but so glad you did. We all know the heartache you are experiencing. I have received many messages like this from my son. More times than not this is just a way for our difficult adult children to lash out at us. It's kind of like "I'll show them, I'll tell her my life is over, that I'm done, then she'll be sorry she didn't help me" Here's the thing, if you are concerned that he might really harm himself then the best thing you can do is call the police. Of course you would have to know where he is. What consequences are you fearing? Are you afraid your son will not love you or talk to you? How is he showing that he loves you now? If he is living his life out of control he may encounter the police all on his own. I've called the police on my son a few times and I have no regrets. If your son really wanted help then he would accept it. My son is the same way, he has had more chance and opportunities given to him and he always rebels and complains that it's never good enough. Honey, we have already lost our children. If they truly cared about us they would not put us through the drama and chaos they do. I used to play out all kinds of horrific scenarios in my mind of how my son might die out there on the streets. I made myself sick! I couldn't change a thing for him but I could change me and my thinking. I had to come to accept that yes, my son could die. I also had to accept that if he did die I may never know about it. I had to allow myself to grieve for the son that I didn't have anymore. The sweet little boy is long gone. A grown man that has no respect for life has taken his place. I will always love my son but I cannot allow him to hold my emotions hostage. I have my own life to live and I have made the choice to live it to fullest. None of this is easy. There are no one size fits all answers. We have to journey through these trial as best we can. What I can tell you with certainty is that you can move on from the deep pain. It's not easy but it's so worth the effort. Be good to yourself. Find something you enjoy doing that can help to occupy your time and thoughts. I'm glad you are here with us. Keep sharing! We care and it helps to get it out. ((HUGS)) to you................ [/QUOTE]
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