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Where did I take such a wrong turn?
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<blockquote data-quote="rejectedmom" data-source="post: 52176" data-attributes="member: 2315"><p><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: dlgallant</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> I left him when she was a baby and fought like hell to protect her from him. But I'm her mother, and he still hurt her. </div></div></p><p></p><p>You saw the problem and did your best to fix it. You really do need to let go of the guilt. You did not know what he was truly like when you married him. When you learned the truth you left and did your best to protect your child. I see no fault on your part. </p><p></p><p>Our children's poor choices will always be a source of sadness. To detach means to not allow that sadness take control of our lives. It means that we acknowledge that we did the best we could and that it is now up to them as adults to change their ways. It also means we cannot give them reason to blame us or others for their actions. To do that gives them reason to not make the changes necessary to live a good and decent life. </p><p></p><p>I too do not always like where my life led me. But I try to live in the present with an eye to the future because I know that I cannot change the past. I have "bad" days as everyone does. But I do not take responsibility for not protecting my difficult children when I know i did everything in my power to help them. Please be more gentle with yourself. It was not your fault.</p><p>He abused her not you. He is the one who should be feeling guilty and trying to make amends. -RM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rejectedmom, post: 52176, member: 2315"] <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: dlgallant</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> I left him when she was a baby and fought like hell to protect her from him. But I'm her mother, and he still hurt her. </div></div> You saw the problem and did your best to fix it. You really do need to let go of the guilt. You did not know what he was truly like when you married him. When you learned the truth you left and did your best to protect your child. I see no fault on your part. Our children's poor choices will always be a source of sadness. To detach means to not allow that sadness take control of our lives. It means that we acknowledge that we did the best we could and that it is now up to them as adults to change their ways. It also means we cannot give them reason to blame us or others for their actions. To do that gives them reason to not make the changes necessary to live a good and decent life. I too do not always like where my life led me. But I try to live in the present with an eye to the future because I know that I cannot change the past. I have "bad" days as everyone does. But I do not take responsibility for not protecting my difficult children when I know i did everything in my power to help them. Please be more gentle with yourself. It was not your fault. He abused her not you. He is the one who should be feeling guilty and trying to make amends. -RM [/QUOTE]
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