For those who are interested, here are the traits of antisocial personality disorder. The first time I read them, I felt physically sick/nausea overtook me. I sat in the bathroom and cried my eyes out. It's not that 36 had every trait. He didn't. But he had enough that I knew he was partly something I could barely comprehend or accept...he had traits of people who had antisocial personality disorder. It still makes me sick, but I'm used to it now and when he says or does something so lacking in empathy that it blows my mind, I just go back to this: "He has antisocial personality traits and I can't change him." This is why, although I love him with all my heart, I don't really LIKE him very much. Does that make sense? I think some of you understand. I was late to accepting what he was like...he had to have been thirty before I could even sort of admit it to myself. My journey has been a long one.
This is an article listing what antisocial personality is and it's traits. If your heart is not ready to read this, please do not put yourself through it. If you are ready...see if it fits. I saw these traits as far back as toddlerhood with 36. It appalled me then, but I threw him into therapy and swore it would get better because I'd MAKE it get better. Didn't work. Ok, if you read, please stop if you are getting too upset.
http://psychcentral.com/disorders/antisocial-personality-disorder-symptoms/
