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General Parenting
Where do you get the strength to keep putting up with this?
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 476480"><p>Hello and a warm welcome. This stuff is extremely painful. Over the years it has taken its toll and myself and marriage, but I do believe with great effort....I/ we have grown stronger.</p><p>I think I personally have turned to my spiritual faith for guidance as well as have been forced to use good self care. I have periodically seen therapists for support. </p><p>It'll be important for you and your husband to be on the same page for when your son turns 18. And by the way, there is no way you should tolerate abuse!</p><p>You might attempt to draw up a contract and try one final time for him to abide by limits and boundaries. However, if he is unable, so be it. At 18, perhaps it is time for him to move out.</p><p>Know in your heart that sincere efforts have been made on his behalf. It is up to him to want to make a change. </p><p>Let go of your emotional attachment in having a positive outcome. It is up to your son and not to you.</p><p>It is not wrong to call it quits. You can, if approriate, offer your son the gift of seeing a therapist.</p><p>But in fact, you set a good example by refusing to allow someone who is abusive to remain in your home. Sometimes, enough is enough. And yes, sometimes they have to figure things out on their own.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 476480"] Hello and a warm welcome. This stuff is extremely painful. Over the years it has taken its toll and myself and marriage, but I do believe with great effort....I/ we have grown stronger. I think I personally have turned to my spiritual faith for guidance as well as have been forced to use good self care. I have periodically seen therapists for support. It'll be important for you and your husband to be on the same page for when your son turns 18. And by the way, there is no way you should tolerate abuse! You might attempt to draw up a contract and try one final time for him to abide by limits and boundaries. However, if he is unable, so be it. At 18, perhaps it is time for him to move out. Know in your heart that sincere efforts have been made on his behalf. It is up to him to want to make a change. Let go of your emotional attachment in having a positive outcome. It is up to your son and not to you. It is not wrong to call it quits. You can, if approriate, offer your son the gift of seeing a therapist. But in fact, you set a good example by refusing to allow someone who is abusive to remain in your home. Sometimes, enough is enough. And yes, sometimes they have to figure things out on their own. [/QUOTE]
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Where do you get the strength to keep putting up with this?
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