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Where is he? Is he okay?
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<blockquote data-quote="Elsi" data-source="post: 743575" data-attributes="member: 23349"><p>Beta, I know how hard it is to turn off that panic and worry. Mine go dark fairly frequently, either because their phones are off (they both use burner phones with pre-paid minutes) or because they just don't feel like talking to me. Which usually means they are involved in something they know would upset me. I went into full panic mode about 3 weeks ago when C's phone was off and there was an unidentified shooting victim in the area I know he stays most frequently. You all here had to talk me down off that ledge. </p><p></p><p>For me, I've had to adopt the philosophy of "no news is good news" - if the police aren't at my door or on the phone this minute with bad news, I try to assume there is nothing for me to know and nothing for me to do. My grandmother used to say "No use borrowing trouble" - or, don't waste time worrying about troubles that aren't confirmed and in front of you right now. I hear her voice saying this sometimes when I find myself wandering into the realm of "24-hour mother disaster headline news". My grandma was a stoic, pragmatic woman, and I try to channel that when I feel myself going over the edge. I remind myself that there are 100 reasons for silence, not all of them bad and most of them not indicating a life-or-death situation. Sometimes, our kids just don't want to talk to Mom. Perhaps they don't want our voices in their heads when they are pursuing things they know we would disagree with. Perhaps whatever they are living through right now is so all-consuming they can't spare a thought and the time for us. Perhaps not answering us is a way of asserting their independence, or punishing us for perceived transgressions. Who knows? I try not to live in speculation, but to live in the world of verified fact. To let things unfold as they will and take each revelation as it comes. </p><p></p><p>But I know it is hard. Some days are easier than others.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elsi, post: 743575, member: 23349"] Beta, I know how hard it is to turn off that panic and worry. Mine go dark fairly frequently, either because their phones are off (they both use burner phones with pre-paid minutes) or because they just don't feel like talking to me. Which usually means they are involved in something they know would upset me. I went into full panic mode about 3 weeks ago when C's phone was off and there was an unidentified shooting victim in the area I know he stays most frequently. You all here had to talk me down off that ledge. For me, I've had to adopt the philosophy of "no news is good news" - if the police aren't at my door or on the phone this minute with bad news, I try to assume there is nothing for me to know and nothing for me to do. My grandmother used to say "No use borrowing trouble" - or, don't waste time worrying about troubles that aren't confirmed and in front of you right now. I hear her voice saying this sometimes when I find myself wandering into the realm of "24-hour mother disaster headline news". My grandma was a stoic, pragmatic woman, and I try to channel that when I feel myself going over the edge. I remind myself that there are 100 reasons for silence, not all of them bad and most of them not indicating a life-or-death situation. Sometimes, our kids just don't want to talk to Mom. Perhaps they don't want our voices in their heads when they are pursuing things they know we would disagree with. Perhaps whatever they are living through right now is so all-consuming they can't spare a thought and the time for us. Perhaps not answering us is a way of asserting their independence, or punishing us for perceived transgressions. Who knows? I try not to live in speculation, but to live in the world of verified fact. To let things unfold as they will and take each revelation as it comes. But I know it is hard. Some days are easier than others. [/QUOTE]
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