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Where is he? Is he okay?
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 743890" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Hi Beta, I'm getting caught up on some posts after being away for a few days. </p><p>Yes, I agree that they can "punish" us with their silence but I also see it as a test. They are testing us, testing our limits and our boundaries. Just how far can I "push" them before they give in and give me what I want. This can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on which side of things you are on. I think you are the good side of things in that you are setting boundaries. When our kids go silent, we can do one of two things; we can continually call and text, begging them to tell us they are okay, or we can be still and do nothing. When we call, text and beg we have sent the message that they hold our emotions hostage and they will use that to their advantage. When we are still and do nothing, we send a message that we will not be manipulated.</p><p>I think your response to your son was perfect. You let him know you love him and you did not go into a spiral of questions - "where have you been, what have you been doing, I was worried sick, how could let me worry like that" When we do this, we have again confirmed to them that can hold our emotions hostage.</p><p>You are doing great in detaching!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 743890, member: 18516"] Hi Beta, I'm getting caught up on some posts after being away for a few days. Yes, I agree that they can "punish" us with their silence but I also see it as a test. They are testing us, testing our limits and our boundaries. Just how far can I "push" them before they give in and give me what I want. This can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on which side of things you are on. I think you are the good side of things in that you are setting boundaries. When our kids go silent, we can do one of two things; we can continually call and text, begging them to tell us they are okay, or we can be still and do nothing. When we call, text and beg we have sent the message that they hold our emotions hostage and they will use that to their advantage. When we are still and do nothing, we send a message that we will not be manipulated. I think your response to your son was perfect. You let him know you love him and you did not go into a spiral of questions - "where have you been, what have you been doing, I was worried sick, how could let me worry like that" When we do this, we have again confirmed to them that can hold our emotions hostage. You are doing great in detaching! [/QUOTE]
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Where is he? Is he okay?
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