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Where there any signs or you where blindsided?
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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 694768" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>It is very interesting to read these. They are all so different, yet so many common characteristics. I find myself wondering as I read them, just like I do with mine, "When did things turn?"</p><p></p><p>My son was a dream of a kid for his first 12 years. Top of his class in grades, selected for honors and academic talent searches, etc. When he was in kindergarten he would put the blower in the back of his little electric Jeep and go door to door to blow off porches so he could save money for a go-kart. One day the lawnmower wouldn't start and I (jokingly) told him I would give him $100 toward the go kart if he could fix the lawnmower. The next time we were at the library he found a book about lawnmowers, got the librarian to read him a repair flowchart, came home and fixed the carburetor.</p><p></p><p>When he was 13 his mood changed from sunny and sociable to dour and very much a loner. He threw tantrums and was very difficult to be around. He dyed his hair black, but we let it go so we could "pick our battles." His moodiness we first attributed to "normal teenage stuff," then tried counseling and medications, but he would not engage with the counselor and would either misuse or refuse to take the medications. If we insisted on drug testing or Breathalyzers, he would find ways to beat them. It was obvious he was impaired on something; searches of his room turned up technically legal "fake" pot or over-the-counter stuff that would induce hallucinations if taken in large quantities. If we confronted him on his drug use, he would leave and stay with friends, then try to set conditions for his return.</p><p></p><p>Despite his bad grades, he still tested well and earned early entrance to college when he was a junior in high school. He needed transportation to get to class, so we bought him a motorcycle. Near the end of the semester, we found out he had failed every college class. He never attended. He left at the time he should leave to make it to class, then drove to the woods and got high or slept.</p><p></p><p>I think that was the first time it hit me that he would be willing to actively deceive us. Since that time he has stolen from us many times, lied about his whereabouts many times, totaled the car, and destroyed our property.</p><p></p><p>I could go on. Looking back on it all, I feel like I am living a life that can't possibly be mine. I haven't been blindsided by any of it for years, but I sure was when he changed so abruptly. We still have no idea what caused it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 694768, member: 17720"] It is very interesting to read these. They are all so different, yet so many common characteristics. I find myself wondering as I read them, just like I do with mine, "When did things turn?" My son was a dream of a kid for his first 12 years. Top of his class in grades, selected for honors and academic talent searches, etc. When he was in kindergarten he would put the blower in the back of his little electric Jeep and go door to door to blow off porches so he could save money for a go-kart. One day the lawnmower wouldn't start and I (jokingly) told him I would give him $100 toward the go kart if he could fix the lawnmower. The next time we were at the library he found a book about lawnmowers, got the librarian to read him a repair flowchart, came home and fixed the carburetor. When he was 13 his mood changed from sunny and sociable to dour and very much a loner. He threw tantrums and was very difficult to be around. He dyed his hair black, but we let it go so we could "pick our battles." His moodiness we first attributed to "normal teenage stuff," then tried counseling and medications, but he would not engage with the counselor and would either misuse or refuse to take the medications. If we insisted on drug testing or Breathalyzers, he would find ways to beat them. It was obvious he was impaired on something; searches of his room turned up technically legal "fake" pot or over-the-counter stuff that would induce hallucinations if taken in large quantities. If we confronted him on his drug use, he would leave and stay with friends, then try to set conditions for his return. Despite his bad grades, he still tested well and earned early entrance to college when he was a junior in high school. He needed transportation to get to class, so we bought him a motorcycle. Near the end of the semester, we found out he had failed every college class. He never attended. He left at the time he should leave to make it to class, then drove to the woods and got high or slept. I think that was the first time it hit me that he would be willing to actively deceive us. Since that time he has stolen from us many times, lied about his whereabouts many times, totaled the car, and destroyed our property. I could go on. Looking back on it all, I feel like I am living a life that can't possibly be mine. I haven't been blindsided by any of it for years, but I sure was when he changed so abruptly. We still have no idea what caused it. [/QUOTE]
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Where there any signs or you where blindsided?
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