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Which comes first . . . the chicken or the egg?
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 463547" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>Or in difficult child's case, is she a substance abuser because she is mentally ill or is she mentally ill because she is a substance abuser?</p><p></p><p>Here's an update to my last update . . .</p><p></p><p>After we found out that difficult child forged a check when we were out of town to buy alcohol, we told her that she had to leave or we would press charges. She supposedly had a job lined up so we paid for one month's rent for her to rent a room in a house. She got kicked out 2 weeks later after she got into a fight with the people that owned the house. </p><p></p><p>During that time we were dealing with husband's mom having a massive stroke and dying a few days later. We couldn't deal with finding difficult child a place to live at the same time so we let her come back "temporarily" and go to husband's home town with us for the funeral. She acted well while we were there but as soon as we got back she took a credit card out of my wallet and went to a gas station and bought cigarettes and beer. We told her to leave on the spot.</p><p></p><p>She said she had nowhere to go so she lived in her car for a couple of days and kept coming back and parking in our driveway. Finally, she started texting me that she had no one and nowhere to go and that she had "taken something." I made her text exactly what she had taken so she couldn't change her story later (as in the past) and she said she had taken 20 Celexa.</p><p></p><p>We took her to the emergency room where she did change her story to taking 8 Celexa. The triage nurse was awesome and called her on her behavior and told her that she was 26 and it was time to start taking care of her own problems and that her parents were going to get tired of the drama and stop reacting. She took difficult child off to another room and told us that we should go home. She said it was time for difficult child to have to face the consequences of her actions and that this would continue the rest of her life unless she hit bottom. She said that difficult child would be held and then taken to a psychiatric hospital and a social worker would work with her from there.</p><p></p><p>They kept difficult child for three days and I talked with the social worker while she was there. She said that the doctor thought that difficult child's problems were more substance abuse than mental health. He recommended a residential treatment center. Of course, difficult child has no insurance so that is a big problem.</p><p></p><p>She ended up going to the community health center where she gets her medications and they have a 30 day inpatient treatment center for substance abuse recovery and which is followed by an outpatient program. Since she has had no income for the past year, she will only have to pay $700 instead of the usual $7000. Of course, we will be the ones that have to pay the $700.</p><p></p><p>She supposed to go in Monday morning. She is already working an angle about being allowed to come back here after the 30 days. She is currently staying with a friend's mom that has taken her in before but the woman made it clear that it was only up until a bed opened at the treatment center. We told her that we would be willing to support her recovery and perhaps help with expenses for a half-way house but that we would not let her come back here to fall back to her old ways.</p><p></p><p>We'll see if she really goes in on Monday. But it has me thinking whether it was substance abuse all along that really was the problem. Or is it a combination of bipolar/borderline and substance abuse? If its the second case, it makes me wonder what the chances are of a real recovery and for difficult child having any semblance of a normal life.</p><p></p><p>It is so sad.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 463547, member: 1967"] Or in difficult child's case, is she a substance abuser because she is mentally ill or is she mentally ill because she is a substance abuser? Here's an update to my last update . . . After we found out that difficult child forged a check when we were out of town to buy alcohol, we told her that she had to leave or we would press charges. She supposedly had a job lined up so we paid for one month's rent for her to rent a room in a house. She got kicked out 2 weeks later after she got into a fight with the people that owned the house. During that time we were dealing with husband's mom having a massive stroke and dying a few days later. We couldn't deal with finding difficult child a place to live at the same time so we let her come back "temporarily" and go to husband's home town with us for the funeral. She acted well while we were there but as soon as we got back she took a credit card out of my wallet and went to a gas station and bought cigarettes and beer. We told her to leave on the spot. She said she had nowhere to go so she lived in her car for a couple of days and kept coming back and parking in our driveway. Finally, she started texting me that she had no one and nowhere to go and that she had "taken something." I made her text exactly what she had taken so she couldn't change her story later (as in the past) and she said she had taken 20 Celexa. We took her to the emergency room where she did change her story to taking 8 Celexa. The triage nurse was awesome and called her on her behavior and told her that she was 26 and it was time to start taking care of her own problems and that her parents were going to get tired of the drama and stop reacting. She took difficult child off to another room and told us that we should go home. She said it was time for difficult child to have to face the consequences of her actions and that this would continue the rest of her life unless she hit bottom. She said that difficult child would be held and then taken to a psychiatric hospital and a social worker would work with her from there. They kept difficult child for three days and I talked with the social worker while she was there. She said that the doctor thought that difficult child's problems were more substance abuse than mental health. He recommended a residential treatment center. Of course, difficult child has no insurance so that is a big problem. She ended up going to the community health center where she gets her medications and they have a 30 day inpatient treatment center for substance abuse recovery and which is followed by an outpatient program. Since she has had no income for the past year, she will only have to pay $700 instead of the usual $7000. Of course, we will be the ones that have to pay the $700. She supposed to go in Monday morning. She is already working an angle about being allowed to come back here after the 30 days. She is currently staying with a friend's mom that has taken her in before but the woman made it clear that it was only up until a bed opened at the treatment center. We told her that we would be willing to support her recovery and perhaps help with expenses for a half-way house but that we would not let her come back here to fall back to her old ways. We'll see if she really goes in on Monday. But it has me thinking whether it was substance abuse all along that really was the problem. Or is it a combination of bipolar/borderline and substance abuse? If its the second case, it makes me wonder what the chances are of a real recovery and for difficult child having any semblance of a normal life. It is so sad. [/QUOTE]
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Which comes first . . . the chicken or the egg?
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