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General Parenting
who's really punished?
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 115987" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Gosh ya hit a nerve here. I so understand. </p><p></p><p>I had to have about 6 months of bi-weekly therapy to get over how much I've given up in my life for Dude. When I sat down and started thinking about camping trips that were planned to the icecube and then pulled out of the driveway only for difficult child to test the limits of "We will go right back home if you a,b,c" by pulling (b & a) out of his hat before we pulled out - argh. ANd yes, we unloaded it all, and all sat around peeved at Dude. He really never seemed to care one way or the other - but I did. </p><p></p><p>Don't put the fun in your life on hold because of your difficult child. Live instead - and HAVE FUN. You have a child in a room for 3 hours - I had 12 years of sitting in my house day after day doing NOTHING. In 12 years because of listening to therapists who preached BE CONSISTENT IN YOUR PARENTING - life went right by us. I can count on 2 hands how many fun things we did because of difficult child behavior - and while I cherish those moments - I despised him for not EVER giving us a break to allow us to have fun. When all along - we COULD have had fun with or without him. </p><p></p><p>That would be my advice for a do-over - get a sitter and go have fun. No sitter? Find some fun at the house. But DO SOMETHING Fun while he's in punishment - let him hear the laughter and the good times. Blow bubbles, make cookies, anything - Just don't include him until his behavior says he can join. </p><p></p><p>Don't cut out the fun all together - you don't need to punish yourself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 115987, member: 4964"] Gosh ya hit a nerve here. I so understand. I had to have about 6 months of bi-weekly therapy to get over how much I've given up in my life for Dude. When I sat down and started thinking about camping trips that were planned to the icecube and then pulled out of the driveway only for difficult child to test the limits of "We will go right back home if you a,b,c" by pulling (b & a) out of his hat before we pulled out - argh. ANd yes, we unloaded it all, and all sat around peeved at Dude. He really never seemed to care one way or the other - but I did. Don't put the fun in your life on hold because of your difficult child. Live instead - and HAVE FUN. You have a child in a room for 3 hours - I had 12 years of sitting in my house day after day doing NOTHING. In 12 years because of listening to therapists who preached BE CONSISTENT IN YOUR PARENTING - life went right by us. I can count on 2 hands how many fun things we did because of difficult child behavior - and while I cherish those moments - I despised him for not EVER giving us a break to allow us to have fun. When all along - we COULD have had fun with or without him. That would be my advice for a do-over - get a sitter and go have fun. No sitter? Find some fun at the house. But DO SOMETHING Fun while he's in punishment - let him hear the laughter and the good times. Blow bubbles, make cookies, anything - Just don't include him until his behavior says he can join. Don't cut out the fun all together - you don't need to punish yourself. [/QUOTE]
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