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General Parenting
who's really punished?
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<blockquote data-quote="timer lady" data-source="post: 116142" data-attributes="member: 393"><p>I agree with Star - do not put your entire life on hold. This takes planning but it's well worth it. Find an "alternate" to stay with difficult child & enjoy the day you planned with-o him.</p><p></p><p>We missed out on so many family outings, camping trips, celebrations because we didn't plan ahead; didn't work out different consequences to deal with outrageous/obnoxious/defiant behaviors.</p><p></p><p>Many times, I should have blown off things that seemed so important at the time. I'm not saying that services are not important, please know that. However, fun family time is so very important. Time together to just enjoy each other - not feeling held hostage by whatever disorder you may be dealing with is so much more healthy than a loss of privileges. </p><p></p><p>If I had it to do over, wm would have "owed" me 30 minutes timeout on Monday & known it. Or kt would have known that at the end of our outing she had such & such to finish or the consequence would be such & such.</p><p></p><p>Sad to say, we hardly do anything as a family anymore. We don't know how to do it. It would have been so much easier at the age of 6 almost 7 when they were placed with us to work a different plan.</p><p></p><p>But, like Star, we were told to be consistent - to take away privileges - to enforce time out no matter what. </p><p></p><p>Guess what - made no impact on either kt or wm. Neither will do time outs - or can out wait the entire family. Stubborn little turds.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry your day was ruined. I hope you can find a different way for difficult child to make services or if not, not ruin the entire family's day.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="timer lady, post: 116142, member: 393"] I agree with Star - do not put your entire life on hold. This takes planning but it's well worth it. Find an "alternate" to stay with difficult child & enjoy the day you planned with-o him. We missed out on so many family outings, camping trips, celebrations because we didn't plan ahead; didn't work out different consequences to deal with outrageous/obnoxious/defiant behaviors. Many times, I should have blown off things that seemed so important at the time. I'm not saying that services are not important, please know that. However, fun family time is so very important. Time together to just enjoy each other - not feeling held hostage by whatever disorder you may be dealing with is so much more healthy than a loss of privileges. If I had it to do over, wm would have "owed" me 30 minutes timeout on Monday & known it. Or kt would have known that at the end of our outing she had such & such to finish or the consequence would be such & such. Sad to say, we hardly do anything as a family anymore. We don't know how to do it. It would have been so much easier at the age of 6 almost 7 when they were placed with us to work a different plan. But, like Star, we were told to be consistent - to take away privileges - to enforce time out no matter what. Guess what - made no impact on either kt or wm. Neither will do time outs - or can out wait the entire family. Stubborn little turds. I'm sorry your day was ruined. I hope you can find a different way for difficult child to make services or if not, not ruin the entire family's day. [/QUOTE]
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