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Why am I suffering
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 688395" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Ok..this is my opinion only.</p><p></p><p>By the time your adult child is of adult age, yes, your partner should come first. Sounds like your husband is not wanting her home because she is toxic to you both. He is actually protecting you.</p><p></p><p>I think a good solution to all midnight harassment from an adult child is to turn off your phone and stick it in a drawer. You could set "phone hours" like 10-8 and refuse to look at anything at night. You can even, as you walk this path longer and get more fed up, only read daughters messages four days a week, or two, or even take some break. If she calls you to get her or to complain in the middle of the night you really can't help her. See, it may seem like you are helping her to drive her around all night, but you are inadvertently hurting her and not teaching her to be age appropriately dependent and to figure things out herself. So what if she is angry at you? She is expecting the ridiculous of you considering she is an adult.</p><p></p><p>You also in my opinion should take care of yourself. You need to sleep. We all do. You need less stress. You need to for once focus on yourself and maybe kick up your relationship with your husband. He is not the bad guy herself here. He is the reasonable one, seeing that it is a bad idea to let this daughter live with the two of you. Do you think she would do right in your home? Do chores? Pay rent? Be respectful to all? Clean up?</p><p></p><p>in my opinion it's your time to be good to yourself. Stop driving daughter around and letting her boss you around while using abusive words. She is NOT your boss nor should you say how high when she says jump..you are giving her way too much power over your life. in my opinion everyone will benefit if you start setting boundaries. Remember, you won't be here forever. Our adult kids need a push to take care of their own problems.</p><p></p><p>Hugs and take care of YOU. And listen to your husband. in my opinion he's right.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 688395, member: 1550"] Ok..this is my opinion only. By the time your adult child is of adult age, yes, your partner should come first. Sounds like your husband is not wanting her home because she is toxic to you both. He is actually protecting you. I think a good solution to all midnight harassment from an adult child is to turn off your phone and stick it in a drawer. You could set "phone hours" like 10-8 and refuse to look at anything at night. You can even, as you walk this path longer and get more fed up, only read daughters messages four days a week, or two, or even take some break. If she calls you to get her or to complain in the middle of the night you really can't help her. See, it may seem like you are helping her to drive her around all night, but you are inadvertently hurting her and not teaching her to be age appropriately dependent and to figure things out herself. So what if she is angry at you? She is expecting the ridiculous of you considering she is an adult. You also in my opinion should take care of yourself. You need to sleep. We all do. You need less stress. You need to for once focus on yourself and maybe kick up your relationship with your husband. He is not the bad guy herself here. He is the reasonable one, seeing that it is a bad idea to let this daughter live with the two of you. Do you think she would do right in your home? Do chores? Pay rent? Be respectful to all? Clean up? in my opinion it's your time to be good to yourself. Stop driving daughter around and letting her boss you around while using abusive words. She is NOT your boss nor should you say how high when she says jump..you are giving her way too much power over your life. in my opinion everyone will benefit if you start setting boundaries. Remember, you won't be here forever. Our adult kids need a push to take care of their own problems. Hugs and take care of YOU. And listen to your husband. in my opinion he's right. [/QUOTE]
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