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Why are mother/daughter relationships so hard?
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<blockquote data-quote="nettiesinsac" data-source="post: 752641" data-attributes="member: 24638"><p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms'"><span style="color: rgb(20, 20, 20)">The struggle is real-I've noticed the relationship between my 27 year old daughter and I suffering but never really stopped to think about why. I have a 3 year old granddaughter that i'm extremely close to and spend time with every Sunday. This last Sunday, my daughter made other plans with my granddaughter that didn't include me and I became very upset. My daughter and I finally talked about it and she accused me of being very judgemental and said some things to me that were very, very hard to hear. When we hung up, I spent a lot of time thinking about what she said and is it really true? I turned to this forum this morning and it was so nice to hear that I'm not alone! Thank you for that!</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms'"><span style="color: rgb(20, 20, 20)">I don't think its so much as being judgemental as my own insecurities. My granddaughter spends a lot of time with other family members and I feel left out. I'm afraid that she's going to forget about me, or not want to spend time with me. I feel left out. There-I said it. I want to be the center of her life and if I'm honest with myself, my daughter's life as well.</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms'"><span style="color: rgb(20, 20, 20)">I have to ask myself, why is this? I have friends, really good friends that I spend time with. I have an active social life so why is it so important that I need to be the center of my daughter/granddaughters life? This I'm still trying to figure out. But one thing is for sure--I need to let go. I DON'T need to see my granddaughter every single Sunday. I need to be okay with that. She's not going to forget about me-I know this but how can I get past the feeling of being left out? This is where I struggle. And part of me feels guilty for not spending time with her.</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms'"><span style="color: rgb(20, 20, 20)">I want to be the best Mom and Gramma that I can possibly be BUT that doesn't mean spending a crazy amount of time with them or being involved in every aspect of their life! Easier said than done, right????</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms'"><span style="color: rgb(20, 20, 20)">My daughter said some really unpleasant things to me that hurt a lot and I'm still trying to digest them and accept that some of them may be true...we've agreed to give each other some space and get together this weekend to talk about it. Until then, i'll be spending a lot of time on this forum and realizing some things about myself that I'm not going to like and/or realizing that I need to make some serious changes in my life. I find myself putting my life on hold in the event my daughters (I have 2) need me. Really? How crazy is this??</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms'"><span style="color: rgb(20, 20, 20)">Anyone else going through something similar???</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms'"><span style="color: rgb(20, 20, 20)"></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nettiesinsac, post: 752641, member: 24638"] [LEFT][FONT=trebuchet ms][COLOR=rgb(20, 20, 20)]The struggle is real-I've noticed the relationship between my 27 year old daughter and I suffering but never really stopped to think about why. I have a 3 year old granddaughter that i'm extremely close to and spend time with every Sunday. This last Sunday, my daughter made other plans with my granddaughter that didn't include me and I became very upset. My daughter and I finally talked about it and she accused me of being very judgemental and said some things to me that were very, very hard to hear. When we hung up, I spent a lot of time thinking about what she said and is it really true? I turned to this forum this morning and it was so nice to hear that I'm not alone! Thank you for that! I don't think its so much as being judgemental as my own insecurities. My granddaughter spends a lot of time with other family members and I feel left out. I'm afraid that she's going to forget about me, or not want to spend time with me. I feel left out. There-I said it. I want to be the center of her life and if I'm honest with myself, my daughter's life as well. I have to ask myself, why is this? I have friends, really good friends that I spend time with. I have an active social life so why is it so important that I need to be the center of my daughter/granddaughters life? This I'm still trying to figure out. But one thing is for sure--I need to let go. I DON'T need to see my granddaughter every single Sunday. I need to be okay with that. She's not going to forget about me-I know this but how can I get past the feeling of being left out? This is where I struggle. And part of me feels guilty for not spending time with her. I want to be the best Mom and Gramma that I can possibly be BUT that doesn't mean spending a crazy amount of time with them or being involved in every aspect of their life! Easier said than done, right???? My daughter said some really unpleasant things to me that hurt a lot and I'm still trying to digest them and accept that some of them may be true...we've agreed to give each other some space and get together this weekend to talk about it. Until then, i'll be spending a lot of time on this forum and realizing some things about myself that I'm not going to like and/or realizing that I need to make some serious changes in my life. I find myself putting my life on hold in the event my daughters (I have 2) need me. Really? How crazy is this?? Anyone else going through something similar??? [/COLOR][/FONT][/LEFT] [/QUOTE]
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