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Parent Emeritus
Why are mother/daughter relationships so hard?
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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 752647" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>Welcome Netti,</p><p></p><p>I'm on board with the suggestions from the other ladies but I would like to also recommend in the interim that you read some good books on enabling. There's a few by Melodie Bettie that are terrific. Maybe you might get some insight on why you need to be the center of your daughter and granddaughters life. Perhaps it's a controlling thing. Many of us here suffer from that and are working hard at getting better.</p><p></p><p>Not knowing your whole story, maybe at one point you were the center of your daughters life and now that she has a daughter and should devote time to her you maybe feel left out.</p><p></p><p>In my opinion, you likely didn't arrive at this point by your own accord. The relationship must have allowed for it to get to this point. Don't be too hard on yourself. You're not a bad person. </p><p></p><p>Don't think of this as a bad experience, think of this as a new chapter of your life where you can learn more about yourself and grow as a person. I know I boxed myself into some cookie cutter predictable patterns for a very long time until my entire life took a turn for what I though was the worst. As it turned out I have learned so much about myself from the crisis' in my life. I'm sure if you put effort into it, you will too.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 752647, member: 23405"] Welcome Netti, I'm on board with the suggestions from the other ladies but I would like to also recommend in the interim that you read some good books on enabling. There's a few by Melodie Bettie that are terrific. Maybe you might get some insight on why you need to be the center of your daughter and granddaughters life. Perhaps it's a controlling thing. Many of us here suffer from that and are working hard at getting better. Not knowing your whole story, maybe at one point you were the center of your daughters life and now that she has a daughter and should devote time to her you maybe feel left out. In my opinion, you likely didn't arrive at this point by your own accord. The relationship must have allowed for it to get to this point. Don't be too hard on yourself. You're not a bad person. Don't think of this as a bad experience, think of this as a new chapter of your life where you can learn more about yourself and grow as a person. I know I boxed myself into some cookie cutter predictable patterns for a very long time until my entire life took a turn for what I though was the worst. As it turned out I have learned so much about myself from the crisis' in my life. I'm sure if you put effort into it, you will too. Keep posting. [/QUOTE]
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Why are mother/daughter relationships so hard?
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