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Parent Emeritus
Why are mother/daughter relationships so hard?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 752776" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>in my opinion we need to remember that WE do the best we can too. And, like our mothers, sometimes we inadvertently fail and hurt our kids.</p><p></p><p>I had very good parents who favored none of us (except in my mind) yet I gave all my attention to Kay. I feel terrible about it. Our parents may have eventually seen their flaws and felt bad. Some may have been too proud to say so. It was another time back then. Parents were in authority and kids were seen and not heard as much</p><p></p><p>in my opinion it just makes it harder to deal with our disturbed kids if we remember our own childhood pain, and I had some. I had siblings who were smarter than me and I felt my parents were prouder if them. I have a big family. I felt like the ugly duckling. Nobody called me that. I labeled myself.</p><p></p><p>We live our lives through the eyes we choose to see through. If we think we are lesser than, this is how we will feel and act, even toward our beloveds. If we love ourselves we see things in a brighter way. Years of therapy has me seeing me from a better place. We need to forgive us and in my opinion forgive our imperfect parents, unless we were truly abused and they knew it.</p><p></p><p>I love the choice to forgive others AND ourselves. And I try not to focus on how I was the ugly kid or the less intelligent one. Nobody told me I was either except for my.own ego mind. Nobody abused me more than me.</p><p></p><p>God bless you all. Let's be good to ourselves.</p><p></p><p>Yesterday is history,</p><p>Tomorrow is a mystery,</p><p>All we have is today.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 752776, member: 23706"] in my opinion we need to remember that WE do the best we can too. And, like our mothers, sometimes we inadvertently fail and hurt our kids. I had very good parents who favored none of us (except in my mind) yet I gave all my attention to Kay. I feel terrible about it. Our parents may have eventually seen their flaws and felt bad. Some may have been too proud to say so. It was another time back then. Parents were in authority and kids were seen and not heard as much in my opinion it just makes it harder to deal with our disturbed kids if we remember our own childhood pain, and I had some. I had siblings who were smarter than me and I felt my parents were prouder if them. I have a big family. I felt like the ugly duckling. Nobody called me that. I labeled myself. We live our lives through the eyes we choose to see through. If we think we are lesser than, this is how we will feel and act, even toward our beloveds. If we love ourselves we see things in a brighter way. Years of therapy has me seeing me from a better place. We need to forgive us and in my opinion forgive our imperfect parents, unless we were truly abused and they knew it. I love the choice to forgive others AND ourselves. And I try not to focus on how I was the ugly kid or the less intelligent one. Nobody told me I was either except for my.own ego mind. Nobody abused me more than me. God bless you all. Let's be good to ourselves. Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, All we have is today. [/QUOTE]
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Why are mother/daughter relationships so hard?
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